Mass Effect: The Captain of the Monte Cristo
by Maya Aodhan
Summary: An A/U story where Shepard began life as Aalia Cooper, a wide eyed innocent, falsely accused by jealous rivals. Twelve years later, she returns as Vaea Shepard, the scarred and harsh captain of the Monte Cristo - a pirate ship wreaking havoc on pirates and mercenaries alike. She arrives on Omega, bent on a path of vengeance for those who wronged her. (There will be Shakarian,!)
1. Chapter 1

"You will report to the Courageous at 0600, two days hence, Lieutenant," the Captain read off his datapad and glanced up the bright eyed young woman, not yet out of her teens, who smiled at him with such eagerness.

"Thankyou, sir!" Lt Aalia Cooper could barely contain her excitement.

"Dismissed, Ell-tee," the Captain jerked his head.

Aalia snapped a salute up to the hairline of her bright red hair and down, before virtually skipping off on long, lithe legs. She couldn't contain the smile, and when the handsome young man greeted her at the base of the stairs, she launched herself at him, wrapping those long legs around his waist and arms around his neck.

Kaidan Alenko kissed her soundly and Aalia returned the kiss with enthusiasm.

"I got it! I got the Courageous!" she rested her forehead on his, their breaths mingling.

"I knew you would," his husky voice broadened her smile and she kissed him again, "Come on, I have something to show you." He lowered her to the ground and took her hand. He tugged her toward the balcony that overlooked the arm of the Citadel that swept out in an elegant arc. It was green, and blue, and beautiful.

"What?" Aalia frowned, peering over the balcony, "I have seen this before, Kaidan." She turned back to him and realised he was kneeling before her, a glittering diamond in his right hand and outstretched toward her. Her breath hitched.

"I love you more than life itself, Aalia," his dark, whiskey hued eyes regarded her with tenderness, "Please, will you marry me?"

Aalia reached out and cupped her face in her soft hand, her eyes sparkling with tears and happiness, "Oh, Kaidan! Yes!" She launched herself forward and kissed him soundly, collapsing into his lap.

He laughed and clutched her closely.

* * *

Aalia stared down at the ring she now had looped on her tags around her neck. Not strictly regs, but under her gear, who would know? A smile curved her lips, and a blush coloured her cheeks as she recalled the previous twenty four hours. The elevator hummed from the crew deck up to the CIC.

"Nice piece of shiny, Lt," came a drawling voice from behind her.

Aalia tucked it back into the neck of her tunic and glanced guiltily at the speaker. She was a tall, blonde, beautiful and coolly elegant.

"Hey, I wont say anything," the woman shrugged with a smile.

"I know we aren't meant to…but…" Aalia pressed her hand over her heart, "I only just got engaged."

"Congratulations," the woman replied, and held out her hand, "I'm Jenna. Jenna Kreis. Well…Gunnery Chief Kreis, I suppose. Who is the lucky guy?"Aalia shook the proffered hand with enthusiasm.

"His name is Kaidan Alenko. He is an LC in the Alliance military. Assigned to the Normandy," the elevator swished open, and Aalia stepped out. She turned around to speak again to the Chief, and was startled at the furious expression that coloured the lovely features.

"I…" she began, but was prevented from speaking as the doors slid shut. She rubbed her neck, startled.

"Lieutenant," Captain Lincoln Dvoraczek spoke gruffly from his position before the command board, "Take your position please, we would like to get underway within the hour."

"Yes, sir," Aalia snapped a sharp salute.

* * *

The batarian vessel fired on the Courageous, ignoring their warning hail. Aalia rapidly pre-empted orders, and sharply corrected their course, swinging the big guns around to fire broadside. She hailed the batarian vessel again, her fingers flickering over controls on her panel, under the Captain's view.

"The Alliance cruiser, "Courageous" hailing unknown batarian vessel. Power down your guns, or we will be forced to fire. I repeat, power down your guns or we will be forced to fire," her sweet voice echoed over the comm, and the Captain watched her with sharp eyes, ready to take over. He rubbed his lean, grizzled cheek with a rough forefinger, and nearly snorted when she spoke. "Mine is bigger than yours," there was the hint of steel under the honey softness from the Lieutenant. The helmsman choked.

"Lieutenant," the Captain growled warningly, his muscular form leaning forward in his chair, his frown deepening the wrinkles that scored his eyes.

"They are lowering their shields, sir, ready for boarding," a signaller acknowledged the return hail and relayed the information. Aalia glanced back at the Captain and grinned.

"Nice work, Lieutenant," the Captain leaned back with relief and nodded at her, though his eyes twinkled with amusement even if his mouth could not. He glanced at the man seated to his left, "Commander Nolan, see to the landing party."

Nolan frowned, "Sir? Shouldn't Lieutenant Cooper as subordinate…"

"Now, Mr Nolan," the Captain speared him with a fierce grey gaze that brooked no insolence.

Aalia did not see the flinty glance cast her way by the Commander, she was giving orders to the helmsman to bring them in.

* * *

"You have given exemplary service these last months, Lieutenant," the Captain gestured for her to be seated before his desk. Aalia lowered her salute and hesitantly did so, "A little unusual at times," he gave a faint smile, "But effective."

"Thank you, sir," Aalia beamed at him broadly, "It has been a dream to serve on the Courageous. My mother…"

"Yes, I believe she was Captain before my own posting. She must be very proud," Dvoraczek clasped his hands before him.

"She is," Aalia nodded, "Both my parents are."

"And I believe you are getting married on your next leave, Lieutenant?" the Captain consulted a piece of paper after putting on his reading glasses. He tugged them off again.

"I…yes, sir," Aalia was startled.

"To Lieutenant Commander Kaidan Alenko?"

"Yes…sir?" Aalia slumped in her seat a little, and she touched the small lump that rested between her breasts.

"My sincere congratulations," Dvoraczek smiled, "Here." He handed over a letter, "Your approval for a week's extra leave. Consider it a wedding gift. And if you would do me a great favour?" A lift of a dark brow, "I have a package I would like you to deliver to Ambassador Fabien. He is the human ambassador to the Citadel."

"Of course, sir," Aalia took the long, narrow package and the letter, a little bewildered.

"Congratulations, Lieutenant," the Captain reached across the desk and held out his hand, "I will see you back on deck in two weeks."

Aalia laughed, the sound a rolling, joyful sound in the enclosed space. She clasped his large paw with her own long, narrow fingers, "Thankyou, sir! Oh, thankyou!"

* * *

Aalia sighed and stretched luxuriously beside her sleeping Kaidan, her naked form brushing his own. She nuzzled the soft skin of his back, and caressed the muscles that curved his torso. And muttered in annoyance as the front door heralded a guest. She checked the time. 0700? She was on leave! And getting married today. That's just not right.

She tugged on a shirt and shorts and stumbled out, her long red hair coiling in disarray over her shoulders. Her large green eyes blinked in surprise at the sight of two C-Sec officers on the vid comm.

"Officers? I…what's the problem?"

"Let us in, ma'am, we have a warrant," the turian intoned firmly. They were both armed.

"What?" Aalia frowned, her voice rising in her fear, "What are you talking about?"

Kaidan stumbled out, hastily tugged on black pants. He rubbed sleepy eyes, "Aalia? What's going on?"

"They have a warrant…" Aalia sounded bewildered.

"Better, let them in," Kaidan moved forward and touched the security panel. The turian and human officer crowded in and shoved the piece of paper at Aalia. She took it with a shaking hand.

"That is a warrant to search these premises for the item listed. If found in your position, we are to take you into custody."

"What?" Aalia stared at the paper. One item was on it. A datapad of specific serial number containing information on the Alliance military, "I don't have anything like this. Kaidan?"

"We have certain knowledge that you do, ma'am," the turian replied flatly, "Best you stand aside and let us do our job."

Aalia stared at Kaidan, "I don't understand."

Kaidan took the paper and frowned at it, "I'm not sure I do either."

The turian returned after a few minutes with the package the Captain had given her. It was unwrapped. There was a datapad.

"That's not mine," Aalia protested, "I was given that by the Captain to give to Ambassador Fabien."

"Mister Fabien has been found guilty of selling Alliance information to interested parties," the human C-Sec officer replied bluntly, "And your name came up as one of those who was feeding him information."

"No, it's not possible! I would never!" Aalia protested. The turian tugged her hands together and manacled them, "Kaidan! You have to do something!"

Kaidan just stood there, staring at the piece of paper, "Aalia. What have you done?"

"Nothing!" Aalia shrieked as she was tugged toward the doors, "I haven't done anything!"

* * *

"Lieutenant Aalia Cooper, you have been found guilty of trading Alliance information with Ambassador Cooper. By supplying him with this information, you have directly endangered the fleet. I hereby strip you of your rank and sentence you to twenty years on Arvuna. Perhaps by helping the colony, you will find some small restitution for your actions," the Admiral slammed down his gavel, a holdover from days long past.

Aalia stood when tugged into place by her ineffectual lawyer. Her hair was lank from months imprisoned, her expression blank and eyes beaten down from weeks of testimony from her once shipmates that she had been guilty of that which they were accusing her. She went through her existence completely bewildered. Evidence piled on evidence, and soon, even Kaidan was looking at her warily. Her parents were her only supporters and when she was manacled and taken from the courtroom, her mother cried. Aalia had run out of tears. She merely stared blankly at the wall of the shuttle the shoved her into that would take her to the prison ship, and then onto the Caleston Rift Mass Effect Relay.

She tipped her head back against the wall of the shuttle as two other prisoners were shoved in alongside her. She closed her eyes to their leering eyes and tried to edge away from prying fingers. She was wrong. She hadn't run out of tears. They ran silently down her cheeks.

* * *

**Twelve Years Later**

* * *

"This is the Monte Cristo, requesting docking permission," the drawling voice of her pilot hailed the Omega traffic control.

"Acknowledged, Monte Cristo. You can use docking bay B16," the disembodied voice crackled over the comm.

"Should be parked in moments, Shepard," Joker Moreau announced to the woman who stood behind his chair.

"Good," her voice was a graveled snarl, wrought by scarring on her throat.

"You want me to get hold of Jack?"

"Yeah," she turned and stalked out of the forward bay where Joker flew the ship.

The ship docked, and dressed in tight black armour, she stood before the exit hatch. Vaea Shepard stared at her reflection. Her hair was a shorn cap of dark red. Green eyes were faintly lined at the corners. Scars marred her once smooth, refined features. Piercings glittered in her nose and along her ears. She settled her pistol more securely in its holster - the tattoos on the back of her hand flexing and curving with her movement. She glanced up as her more heavily tattooed and scantily clad companion, Jack Naught joined her at the portal.

"Going to see Aria?" the lusciously curved lips of the powerful biotic pursed thoughtfully.

"Figured Captain Vaea Shepard should go pay her respects to the Queen of Omega,"

Jack grinned, "Right behind you, boss."

The door opened into the pressurised corridor linking them to Omega. Vaea's dark, kohl rimmed eyes scanned the area, "Let's go."

Little Aalia Cooper was all grown up and wearing black combat boots, Vaea mused bleakly as she rested her hand lightly on her pistol, she wouldn't have survived two minutes on Omega.

She strode out, Jack beside her, and thought with amusement: now she could just about buy the place.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Aalia lowered herself carefully down to her bunk, her body aching. One of the other prisoners had beaten her today for bumping into her in the food line. She palpated her cheekbone. It wasn't broken but the pain made her feel dizzy and sick and medigel wasn't wasted on minor injuries like this._**

**_It was just dominance. They knew she was ex-military. Dishonourably discharged for treason. Amongst thieves and murderers she was seen as scum. She rolled onto her side and wept into the hard slab of her pillow, not bothering to remove her boots in case someone stole them._**

**_In the small stone cell, alone because the hierarchy knew she may have been killed had she had a bunkmate, she lay awake until the early dawn eked insipid light into her cell._**

* * *

_"So, when is the wedding?" Jenna tugged the ring on the chain a little closer, forcing Aalia to lean forward in her chair. Her pale blue eyes glinted as the ring sent sparkling shards of light around the room._

_Aalia had become grateful for her friendship in recent weeks. The Gunnery Chief had been reserved for the first month, but after the incident with the batarian pirates, she had seemed to warm to the Lieutenant and took to inviting her to hang out in the crew lounge._

_"My next leave," Aalia sighed happily, a smile curving her lips, as she stared off into space, "Kaidan and my mother are taking care of everything. In two months…" She glanced back to Jenna, green eyes meeting blue, "You will have to meet him when we get to the Citadel!" Aalia leaned over and curved her hand over the Gunnery Chief's, giving a friendly squeeze, "And if you can make it, I would love for you to come to the wedding."_

_Jenna gave a hard smile, and rose to her feet, tugging her hand from Aalia's, "I don't think so," and seeing the disappointed look on the younger woman's face, she hastily covered, running a hand through the long blonde hair that rippled like silk over her shoulders. She smoothed an expression of sincerity over her delicately refined features, "I just meant that my leave doesn't coincide," she shrugged prettily, a smile curving her lips, "I will be sorry to miss your big day and meet…Kaidan."_

_Jenna turned her back on Aalia and fetched a drink from the dispenser. Aalia chattered about the recent additions to the wedding - her dress, the reception centre, and didn't notice Jenna clenching the drink can. It creaked under the pressure before Jenna turned back, that same eager, sincere smile plastered on cupid's bow lips that had, moments before been twisted with something ugly._

* * *

_Aalia clutched her datapad, speed reading the information as she headed into CIC. Distracted, she stepped off the elevator, and ran straight into a solid form, causing the datapad to strike the ground. Aalia wobbled on her feet and was steadied by strong hands._

_"Hey now," the gruff voice uttered, "Careful."_

_"Oh gods, sorry!" Aalia blinked shocked eyes, as she took in the form of Commander Lukas Nolan, "Commander, I am so sorry."_

_"Quite alright, just…" Nolan rubbed his chest where her shoulder had bounced off him, "…watch where you are going."_

_He bent down and retrieved the datapad. Aalia studied the Commander with a frown. He had never deliberately spoken to her since the batarian pirates had attacked. She tilted her head and flicked her eyes quickly over his features. Pale. Dark hair precisely at regulation length. Austere, handsome features with grey eyes that showed little, or at least, little but vague condescension where she was concerned._

_"I…we got off on the wrong foot, Commander," she tried._

_Nolan glanced up sharply, and straightened, his voice annoyed, "I'm not entirely certain I understand, Lieutenant."_

_Aalia hesitated, and pressed, "I…don't understand either." She stared at him with luminous green eyes, "We work together all day, and…" she gestured vaguely, "You always seem disapproving."_

_"It's not disapproval, Lieutenant. It's professionalism," Nolan snapped, "You should try it. The Captain and I don't appreciate your little flip comments. You could have gotten us badly damaged with those batarians. People might have died."_

_He crowded her space a little, and held up her datapad, "The Captain was unhappy with your performance, but I convinced him that you were just inexperienced."_

_Aalia took the datapad, her eyes cast down, "I…had no idea."_

_"Get an idea, Lieutenant, or you will find yourself busted back to rifle cleaning duty," Nolan strode to the elevator and slammed a hand on the sensor. She stared after him, clutching the datapad to her chest, tears of frustration gathering in her eyes._

* * *

**_Aalia sat up from her bunk, frowning, the slant of light from the window emphasising her pallor and the dark circles that scored her eyes. Prisoners were allowed paper and pencil here - no tech - but paper and a pencil no longer than her little finger lest it be used as a weapon. She reached for it from the small trunk that held her meager belongings. Tapping the pen thoughtfully against her teeth, she scribbled a few notes._**

**_Propping her booted foot against the edge of the bed, she leaned back against the wall and stared at the bleak unadorned stone opposite, her arm resting on her bent knee while the other lay flat against a belly that had already lost all softness in the month she had spent here. She had some questions that needed answers. She tore off the small slip of paper with her notes and slid it into a frayed segment of the mattress._**

_And answers she would find._


	3. Chapter 3

"Captain Shepard," Aria greeted the two women from her relaxed pose on her massive leather couch, over which she could observe the events of Afterlife, "And Jack Naught. Such a surprise to see such… esteemed individuals in my club."

The batarian finished his scan, "She's clean."

Aria gestured for them to sit. Shepard did so, while Jack elected to stand, velvet brown eyes watching Aria's guards. She curved a smile at the nearest turian, who shifted uncomfortably.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Shepard?" the Asari tapped fingertips on her leather garbed knee.

"I'm trying to look up an old friend," Shepard's husky voice spoke for the first time, and she shook her head at the offer of a drink from a scantily clad Asari maiden.

"Poor them," Aria drawled back.

Shepard just smiled, though there was no humour in it, and her eyes were the stone that rebuffed the taunting light that was in Aria's.

"And why is it that you believe that I can help you?" Aria flicked her fingers idly.

"You know everything that goes on here," Shepard crossed a heavily booted foot onto one knee, and leaned back in a deceptively relaxed posture.

"That's very true," the Queen of Omega acknowledged the comment.

"You have a man called Lukas Nolan on your station," Shepard replied flatly, her gaze steady on Aria's, and knew she had shaken her. She watched the Asari glance across to the batarian henchman. She had no idea what the henchman did, but Jack would be watching. Shepard kept her eyes on Aria.

"What did this Nolan do to piss you off?"

Shepard just smiled sweetly, the faintest flicker of who she once was in the curve of those scarred lips, "Do you really want to know the business of Captain Vaea Shepard, Ms T'Loak?"

Aria's eyes hardened in annoyance, "No one fucks with me, Shepard."

"And I have a similar rule, Aria," Shepard rubbed a gloved thumb across her chin, "Nolan fucked with me."

Aria was silent for a long moment. Stood and stared out at the dance floor. Shepard just sat in silence, waiting for the Asari to fill the void first.

"I know who you are, Shepard, and what you have done in the Traverse," Aria began softly, "I don't want your brand of justice here."

"I want Nolan," Shepard replied simply, "Just him. When I'm done, I'm gone."

Aria sighed, "He is part of a squad of ex military types who keep the mercs under control in Omega. I allow it. When the mercs are focused on Archangel, they worry less about what I'm doing."

"Archangel?" Shepard leaned forward on her knees, narrowing her eyes.

"He's a turian. Ex-CSec," Aria shrugged, "A little bit of a stick up his ass, but..."

Shepard rose to her feet, "I wont forget this, Aria."

"I wish you would. There is a quarian in the market, improbably calling himself 'Kenn'. He will point you the right way," Aria muttered, clasping her hands behind her back as Shepard touched Jack on the shoulder and they strode down the stairs to the floor of Afterlife. She watched the lean women stride through the crowd, and wondered if they realised that it was eerie to watch. People got out of the way. She saw a drunk bump into Shepard, and watched him recoil as she turned those deadly green eyes upon him. The sooner the Monte Cristo was off her station, the better.

* * *

The quarian wiped his hands to remove the grease that coated them from the part he was working on.

"Oh, hey," his voice was joyless and quiet.

"I need a meet with Archangel," Shepard leaned forward, resting her arms on the dirty bench of his shop front, the harsh overhead light glinting off her burnished copper hair, and casting deep shadows into the scars that marred her once lovely features.

"Uhh, I, uhhh, don't know an Archangel," the quarian nervously glanced from Jack and back to Shepard.

"Funny that," Jack drawled, her arms folding underneath her mostly naked breasts, perking them even higher. She could just tell he was eyeing them and smiled wickedly, "Aria mentioned you could totally hook us up."

"A…Aria?" the quarian stammered.

"Yes, you know…" Shepard reached out and yanked him forward by the leather strap that banded his chest. With a flex of formidable muscle he was brought face to face with the fierce Captain, "Aria. Blue. Tall. Wears a lot of leather. Eats little things like you for breakfast." She smiled, "And she gave me your name. What do you think /I/ will do to you if you don't put me in touch with Archangel?"

There was a murmur from a couple of salarian passersby, but Jack just smiled at them and they moved on in a hurry.

The quarian activated his omnitool and his voice was a nervous quaver as he spoke to someone on the other end.

"Uhh, Sidonis? This is Kenn. I have someone who needs to meet with Archangel. Seemed important. She's from offworld and Aria sent her."

The translation came through his communicator but from his end of the conversation, Shepard gauged the meeting was a go.

Kenn broke transmission and stared up at Shepard. She released her grasp and smiled at him, "There we go. Wasn't so hard."

"Archangel will meet you here. In the Gozu district," Kenn sent her co-ordinates from his omnitool, "You won't do anything bad, right? I mean…the Archangel keeps a lot of us safe from the gangs. Without him…"

Shepard patted his helmet, "I have no interest in hurting this 'Archangel'. Don't worry, kid." She turned to Jack, "Let's go."

"Ready when you are, boss," Jack tipped the quarian a wink and he turned away, shoulders slumped.

* * *

Shepard strolled into the bar that was designated as the meet place. It was dimly lit and mostly turian and batarian. Booths surrounded the walls, with several sticky, scarred tables surrounded by a ragtag collection of chairs dotted in the floorspace toward the bar at the centre of the room, now presided over by an ill-tempered batarian. Several glances were cast their way by the sparse crowd, but Shepard went straight to the bar. She leaned over and asked something, was pointed toward a booth flanked by a turian and a human. A dark shape sat within, hidden by the obvious show of force.

She paused at the barrier of guards and spoke briefly, "My name is Captain Vaea Shepard. I got no issue with you. Just want to talk."

"Hand your weapons to my people, you will get them back when we finish," the voice spoke from the shadows. Shepard narrowed her eyes.

"Can't hand over a biotic amp, buddy," Jack drawled.

"Then you stay out," came the reply.

Shepard folded her arms across her chest, "You ain't Archangel."

The laugh was rich and rumbling, "I can assure you, I am. My time is precious, Captain. I suggest you get started on your business."

"I suggest you can go to hell," Shepard snapped, "I want to talk to Archangel. Now."

The tall, muscular human stepped out from the booth, a frown of irritation on his handsome features, "I'm losing patience."

"So am I," Shepard lifted the gun in her hand and rose her voice to growl around the bar, "Archangel is a turian with a stick up his ass. Until I see someone approaching that description, this gun doesn't lower. And if you have ever heard my name out here, then you know that the next time someone tries to bullshit me, a bolt is going to go through the very pretty face of this human right here."

A voice sounded in her comm.

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't kill Dane," the turian voice was a vibrating rumble in her ear.

Shepard activated the channel, "That's up to you, Archangel."

A moment of silence, "Very well."

The channel dropped out, and from the upper level of the pub, a turian rose from a kneeling posture, a rifle in hand and moved without haste to join Shepard where she stood, pistol pointed at the human still.

Shepard peered through the gloom. And her mouth dropped open, eyes going wide.

"Garrus?"

The turian paused for a moment, and approached hesitantly. Her pistol dropped entirely. His guards glanced at each other and tensed. Jack took a step back and muttered, "Captain…"

Archangel came into the pool of light spilled by a bare globe positioned overhead, and Shepard blinked. She rose a hand to her forehead and rubbed the inch long half moon scar above her left brow.

"You are Archangel?" the question was low. Dangerous.

"Who are you…" his plates fluttered, bright blue eyes peering into the dusky light that surrounded her. She stepped forward to join him in the pool of light, "..the hell?"

"We need to talk. Now," Shepard spoke between gritted teeth, her eyes fierce upon his.

Garrus stared down at the diminutive human, almost unrecognisable with her tattoos, piercings and roughly chopped hair.

"Of course," he muttered faintly, and gestured for his men to stand down.

Shepard glanced back at Jack, who just smiled and shrugged, wandering across to the bar. Shepard followed Garrus, the Archangel, to a back room which he accessed with the brush of his palm. As soon as they were secure, he whirled upon her, his eyes searching her face.

"What the hell are you doing here, Shepard?"

"I need to find someone," her voice was quiet, that graveled harshness missing.

"What? And you thought I would help you?" his eyes were hard upon hers. She met his stare without flinching.

"I didn't know you were Archangel," she admitted, "If I had…"

"What? You wouldn't have come?" his voice was faintly mocking, "I have heard the stories. Everyone has. What do you want, Shepard?"

"I want Nolan," Shepard folded her arms across her chest, as much for defiance as self-protection from his wrath.

"It's not happening," Garrus shook his head, and stalked across to the low hearth that flickered with gas-light. He leaned a hand on the stone that patterned the wall and stared into the flames.

"He put me there. Where you found me," Shepard turned away, for a moment her voice cracked, showing a rare touch of vulnerability.

"What?" Garrus jerked his head in her direction.

"For the sake of his career," Shepard touched the edge of a curving metal sculpture, tracing the edge with her fingertips, trying to force coolness into her tone, and not succeeding, "He sent me to prison. He set me up, Garrus. I was just a kid. A stupid, naive kid who believed her ability would see her through. He saw me as a threat and made the Admiralty believe I sold secrets to a traitor."

The turian shifted and came to stand before her, he reached out and touched her chin, "Vaea," his voice was gentle, "Why do you seek vengeance?"

"He took my life from me, Garrus," Shepard jerked her head back, and took a few paces back, "All of it. I was getting married the day I was arrested," she clenched a fist, and stared at the sculpture that glowed with the reflected light of the fireplace, "I had a whole future, and it didn't involve all this."

"If you hate so much what you have become, why don't you…let it go?" Garrus pursued her, crowding her space.

"You don't get to ask me that," Shepard murmured, her feral eyes meeting his with a slap of emotion, "You don't get to ask me when you did not walk in my shoes."

Garrus was reaching out to touch her arm, but lowered his hand.

"Are you certain it was Nolan?"

"Without a doubt," Shepard murmured, "You know what I was, Garrus. He put me there. Can you live with that on your crew?"

"What do you plan to do with him?"

She just looked up at him.

"What if I were to talk to him first?" Garrus pressed again, "Maybe he will admit his wrongdoing and clear your name? He is not a bad man."

"I was a slave," her voice was a vicious whip, "A fucking slave. You think I'm going to just forgive that?"

Garrus stared at her, "You know who I am, Shepard. I can't just let you kill a man."

"Why not?" Shepard snarled, "It would just add to the tally. At least this time, it would be one on my column."

Garrus captured her face in the palms of his hands, and she stiffened, her hands reaching up to clench his wrists, "This is murder, Shepard," his voice was hoarse, staring down at her, "I still love you. Please. Don't ask me to do this."

Her hands did not pull him away, but clutched him nonetheless desperately, "If you love me," she whispered, her eyes closing, and one hand pressed against his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart, "Let me do this my way."

Garrus lowered his forehead to hers as he had done years before, "I searched for you."

"Don't do this," she tried to push away, out of his strength.

"I didn't think you would run. I would have protected you."

"It won't change my mind," Shepard insisted, and stepped backward as his embrace loosened. She turned and found herself face to face with the closed door. She clutched the frame to steady herself.

"Shepard…" Garrus entreated, his voice vibrating with the need for calm and reason.

"Where is he?"

"No," Garrus shook his head in refusal.

"Fine! I will just talk to him," Shepard exploded, crashing a clenched fist into the door. It shook in its track and she leaned her head on the cool metal, repeating, "I will just talk to him."

"I have your word on that?"

"I want to ask him why. Why he sacrificed me for his career."

There was silence. Shepard unclenched her hand, the blood dripping from her traumatised knuckles. She heard Garrus speak in low tones with someone on his comm.

"Tomorrow," Garrus spoke then, "He is in Kima district. He will make his way here in the morning."

She could feel him coming up behind her and taking her bruised and damaged hand. She closed her eyes and felt him enfold it in his own.

"Stay," he murmured.

"I can't," Shepard murmured, sudden weariness making her sway on her feet.

"Stay," he repeated, cupping her face with one hand, "Stay with me." His voice vibrated the air between them.

"I'm not the stupid girl you once knew," Shepard looked up at him with a bleak expression.

"You were never stupid," he slid taloned fingers across her scalp and watched her eyes darken, "You were terrified. But you were strong. So strong. Stay with me. I have missed you more than my heart can say."

"You are making this difficult," Shepard reached up and touched him gently, a caress of her fingertips across his mandibles as she once did, "…making it hard to say no."

Garrus reached around her waist and drew her close, "Then don't."

Shepard kissed him then. A press of her lips against his lip plates, the old passion rising between them. His arms enfolded her as they once did, and she allowed it, as she had allowed no either to touch her. When she broke the kiss, her arms were entwined around his neck, his hands splayed upon her back, and she was pressed against the door, her breath coming in deep gasps.

"Okay," she raised a hand to her earpiece, "Jack? I'm going to stay here, no point in you waiting. I will be safe." She paused for the reply, then gave another order, "Meet me here at 0700." She met Garrus' gaze, her hand pressed against his chest again, "Yes. I will be fine. See you then." She broke the connection, and reached up to kiss him again. He lifted her up easily, hands spread over her backside. She wrapped her legs over his hips and around his waist and he moved toward the couch.

"Thank you," Garrus murmured against her lips.

"Shut up," she growled and pulled him toward her.

* * *

A/N - Stay tuned for the next chapter - just who is Garrus Vakarian? Shepard was a slave? Wasn't she in jail? Find out soon!


	4. Chapter 4 - Part 1

A/N - Hey guys, I just wanted to say thanks for all the positive feedback. It's been really amazing. But I just wanted to remind folks who aren't necessarily familiar with my work - that I take inspiration from the storylines of the classics - I don't follow them exactly. There may be the vague situation of characters taken from the reference text, but it doesn't mean that everyone there comes from the text. And it is A/U - I may do things with my characters that, on the face of it, don't seem to fit with the game characters either. It's a delicate balance. So just sit back and enjoy the ride! I promise it will make sense soon.

* * *

_Aalia made a mark on the wall beside the bed, scraping the indentation in with a small metal spike she had pried from the bed. Three years. She sighed, lay back and rested the crook of her elbow on her forehead. Three years she had called this cell her home, and that godforsaken factory her workplace. She closed her eyes. Her body had grown hard in that time. Lean, muscular and tanned. She had fought, learned to fight. Learned that there was no 'fair' in a prison brawl. There was just hurt, maim, kill or be hurt, maimed or killed. You put the other guy down first and hard or they kept coming at you. This was the Traverse. No one enforced the law out here, but for a handful of guards that could be bribed to look the other way._

_She opened her eyes at the second set of tally marks on the underside of bunk above her. In three years, she had never had a bunkmate. There were six marks. All underneath the sigil of a cross. Men and woman she had been forced to kill. Murderers, thieves, all of them. Her heart ached for the choices she had made, but if hadn't been for those choices she might sit on someone else's tally. She kept them there to remind her. Dolly. Liam. Cruz. Sagan. Flinch. Lara. She knew all their names. She rubbed the particularly bad scar on her upper left bicep. Flinch had been good with a knife and had cut her badly before she had snapped his neck. It still ached sometimes._

_Aalia was startled by the sound of her cell door opening. An older woman in the prison uniform was shoved into the cell, immediately followed by the door slamming shut. The woman could have been a hard forty or young fifty-something. Her face was deeply lined; her hair was a straggly, salt and pepper mess that hung to her lower back and over her face. But her eyes were sharp and bright, a dark brown that flickered around the room with curiosity._

_Aalia watched the woman approach warily. She saw her glance to the upper bunk and back down to her. She had a sack that she tossed to the mattress before she folded her hands before her and regarded Aalia with equanimity._

_"So you are the one they call traitor?" she spoke with a surprisingly clear voice._

_Aalia surged out of her bed in one fluid motion and got into the woman's space, their faces mere inches apart, "Say that again."_

_There was no fear in the woman's face, only curiosity, "You carry so much anger. So much bitterness."_

_"You don't know me," Aalia snapped, her eyes fierce._

_"You are gravely mistaken, Lieutenant. But I'm not surprised you don't recognise me," the woman brushed back her hair and held out her hand, "Vaea Brenneman."_

_Aalia paused, "Say…that again?"_

_"Vaea Brenneman," the woman kept her hand out, and her eyes upon Aalia, "I know you haven't forgotten your manners in the last three years, Lieutenant."_

_Aalia shook Brenneman's hand with a glazed look in her eye, "Why are you here?"_

_Brenneman sighed and seated herself on the one chair the small cell could hold, "I killed my husband." Her voice was matter of fact._

_"What?" Aalia lowered herself to her bed, shock in her eyes, "But he…"_

_"He underestimated the abilities of an ex-N7 graduate," Brenneman gave a small smile, "Captain Dvoraczek recommended you for N7, did you know that?" She regarded Aalia with a smile, "He said you were incredibly promising, and should be pushed harder."_

_"No, I didn't," Aalia cleared her throat, "Ma'am, I don't understand."_

_"No, somehow I'm not entirely sure I understand either. My husband, Charles, was a good man in his own way, but he was weak," Brenneman's eyes watered up, "So weak. I didn't realise that when I married him. He was so handsome." She shook her head, "And I was so ready to marry. We wed the year before I was recommended for N7. I was gone for a year. And…he cheated on me with…oh, so many women."_

_"Was that why…?" Aalia waved a hand._

_"Good lord, no, girl, this was early on in the marriage," Brenneman shook her head, "But..it contributed. Time went on, and then, he got involved in deals that he shouldn't have. Trading information, bringing drugs into the Citadel, that sort of thing. He was a diplomat, in many ways it was so easy. I discovered the evidence and confronted him with it. I wanted him to turn himself in. I suppose he had started using what he sold…because he pulled a gun on me. I was forced to shoot him."_

_"But surely…this is ridiculous!" Aalia fumed, "The evidence…"_

_"The evidence disappeared," Brenneman shook her head, "He had an accomplice. I never caught them. And all fingers pointed toward me as a wronged wife offing an unfaithful husband."_

_"You were a damn instructor at the Alliance Training Academy! Surely that must count for something!"_

_"It just gave me opportunity and a weapon, dear," Brenneman sighed, "And ultimately, I did shoot him."_

_"Well, damn…"_

_"Tell me about it," Brenneman drawled._

* * *

_The following seven months were a blur. Brenneman was assigned to the labs in the factory, while Aalia still worked on the floor, constantly shifting crates and staying out of the way of other inmates. But at rest, or in break times, they would talk. And for those seven months, Aalia received the benefit of intense training from one of the sharpest minds in the Alliance military. Brenneman had been a legend in the corps, an N7 who gave her career to the Systems Alliance, and had trained thousands when she retired from active frontline service._

_Aalia also learned quite a few tricks from one of the most vicious hand to hand fighters that had wiped the floor with several N7 instructors. A little slower now, with less muscle, but the mind was still there._

_Aalia flourished under the guidance, learned much, and asked questions about the careers of two soldiers - Jenna Kreis and Lukas Dolan. Kreis had left the military after getting married a year ago and accepted a position on the Citadel in Ambassador Udina's office. Dolan was still in - a Commander now. He had transferred to the Lady Reliant soon after Aalia had been jailed._

* * *

_Aalia fought her way out of sleep, as the spine scraping sound of the prison's siren howled in the air. She sat up, scrubbing the sleep from her eyes. Brenneman was up at the door, trying to peer out of the tiny barred window that was their only portal to the interior._

_"What's going on?" Aalia asked, rising to her feet with a yawn, yanking her boots on._

_"I don't know," Brenneman tiptoed to change her perspective a little, "The guards are running for the exits, all armed. Maybe some idiots tried a jailbreak._

_*BOOM*_

_The prison shook._

_"Shit," Aalia crouched and peered up as stone dust rained on their heads, "What the hell?"_

_"That was a missile," Brenneman uttered grimly, going for her boots, sitting on Aalia's bed to put them on, "The prison is under attack."_

_*BOOM* The sound of gunfire erupted from outside. Cries of agony and more explosions. *BOOM* The walls warped, a section of stone crumbled and fell from high up near the door. Aalia glanced up. It was barely enough to fit a small child…but maybe…just maybe…_

_She yanked the chair over. Standing on it she reached up and pulled on the crumbling stone. It caved easily, smashing at her feet. She scrabbled further, enlarging the hole until it would be just large enough to crawl through._

_Aalia gestured toward Brenneman, "Come on, if we are under attack I'm not staying here to get shot like fish in a barrel."_

_"Quaint phrase," Brenneman drawled. Aalia boosted her through the hole, before following through, her muscles quivering with the effort. They hit the ground on the opposite side. Prisoners were banging on their cell doors. Brenneman shook her head, "We can't help them right now."_

_The two women ran to the end of the hallway. It was deserted. No guards and the doors remained open. The green and red lights above them were out. Aalia slunk through the doorway and faced another long hallway. They ran toward the doors that were wide open at the end, the light of day a beacon of brightness at the other end._

_Leapfrogging from doorway to column and to doorway, seeking cover where they could find it, they sprinted for the light. And were brought up short as several batarians clad in ragtag armour piled into the room. Aalia tried to stop, and her boots skidded on the ground. She fell. It was the only thing that saved her life. Vaea Brenneman ran straight into the hail of fire and was thrown backward. She fell to Aalia's right, her eyes wide and sightless, blood leaking from her mouth and pouring from several holes in her chest._

_Aalia opened her mouth to scream, but it was arrested by the awful sight of a batarian looming over her. The butt of a rifle smashed into her head, knocking her unconscious. _


	5. Chapter 5 - Part 2

"_Wake up, bitch," the distinctive batarian tones snarled in the darkness._

_Aalia choked as cold water shattered her unconsciousness. She became aware of pain first. Pain in her shoulders and neck. Pain in her head. Pain in her side. She took stock before letting them know she was awake. Her arms were splayed wide, manacled above shoulder height. They held her weight and her feet barely touched the ground. She tipped her head back and opened her eyes to finally regard the scene around her._

_Three batarians surrounded her. One with the foul bucket of water, the other two watching her curiously as she gained her feet and took some weight off her shoulders. Water Bucket stood back. Green Jumpsuit stepped forward and checked the manacles while Red Armour stood back._

_"She's not soft enough for the companion trade," Green Jumpsuit grabbed her hair and yanked her from one side to the other, "Been too long in that prison to still be pretty."_

_"What's your name?" Red Armour uncrossed his arms._

_"Fuck off," Aalia snarled._

_The back of his hand crashed into her cheekbone and the back of her head crashed into the metal wall. She saw stars for a moment and her legs crumpled. She gasped with the pain._

_"What is your name?" Red Armour repeated in the same cool tone of voice._

_A pause. Aalia shook her head and raised it, eyes rendered dark by anger, and stared at him. Green Jumpsuit grabbed her by the throat and jammed her backwards._

_"Your name?" Red Armour took a small device from a low table and approached._

_Aalia flexed her biceps, straining against the manacles. Green Jumpsuit laughed, "She knows what that is," and let her go._

_The electrical pulse hit her in the gut and streaked through her body. The agonising pain as her muscles failed to respond to anything but the arcing electricity caused her to tip her head back and open her mouth in a soundless scream. Red Armour shut it off. She slumped in the manacles, her knees unable to hold her weight._

_"Your name," Red Armour asked softly._

_"Vaea," Aalia gasped, her stomach roiling._

_"Vaea who?" the silky voice asked._

_She coughed, and screamed in agony for a moment as the device was pressed to her gut. She threw up, causing him to jerk back in disgust, and passed out just as the device clattered to the ground._

* * *

_The following days were a nightmare as they got her story out in pieces. It was a lie. The whole thing. Mother and father dead. She ran with the gangs on Earth until she killed three people in a drug deal. In return for her testimony, she was given twenty years and sent to Arvuna. Her name was Vaea Shepard._

_In the darkness of night, she huddled on the floor of her cell, her body bloodied, sometimes bones broken, new bruises overlaid onto old. And Aalia Cooper died in those dark hours. If they found out she had once been an Alliance Officer, she was dead anyway. She might as well be Vaea Shepard._

_Shepard lost track of the turning of days. She existed in a constant flux of pain and less pain. And when they came one day to take her out of her cell, she almost begged for them to end the nightmare. Just kill her._

_Red Armour, she now knew his name to be Morac, stood in the room with his hands clasped behind his back. There was a steel gurney in the center of the room. A trolley with a variety of instruments and a sealed case was set aside. Bright light caused her to flinch as her guards dragged her forward._

_"Lie her facedown," Morac instructed, "Get her secured. We will be installing her implant."_

_Shepard began to struggle, but weakened by little food and the constant torture, she was unable to prevent them from tying her down. She refused to cry. Refused to respond. She strained against the manacles on arms and legs, her skin almost inured against the tight fastenings. Her head was held by a leather band across her brow and temple, her right cheek pressed to the cold metal._

_Green Jumpsuit stepped forward, picking up a pair of clippers. The buzzing sound was loud in the room, and she watched the shoulder length strands of her dark red hair drop to the gurney and drift to the floor in lank coils._

_Shepard's breath came in gasps, and her fists clenched as the clippers were laid aside, and a new device selected. This one was like a pen._

_The pain was like nothing else she had ever felt. It made the last days fade. The flesh on the back of her neck was carved open. She cried then. Tears streaming down her face. And when the implant was inserted - she screamed._

* * *

_When Shepard swam up through the mire of her nightmares, she was not in her cell. She was lying on a narrow metallic bed, in a dark room. She sat up, scooting back into the corner and looked down at herself. She was covered, neck to ankle in a black bodysuit. She could feel something clasped at her throat. A collar. She scrabbled for the latch, but there was none. And when she touched the back of her neck, she could feel the metallic plates of the implant. She ran a hand over her shaved scalp and drawing up her knees, she dropped her head onto them._

_The guards came for her, and she tried to resist. One of them pressed a small device and shocked her. The pain racked her limbs, but it was almost a relief in comparison to the agony of her neck. She went unresisting then._

_"Ready for your sale?" the guard asked with a mocking laugh, and yanked her through the door. She was in a corridor with other prisoners. They were all black clad. All with shaved heads. All with implants. Most had their heads bowed and went with slow, beaten steps with their guards._

_Her hands were manacled at the doorway by a waiting guard with several looped over his arm. She did not resist, just watched the faces of those who passed. There was no one from the prison. She felt a little relieved._

* * *

_"Vaea Shepard. Human. Unknown age - possibly twenty-five Earth years. Her other details are on your datapads. When you are ready, put your opening bids into the console in front of you," Morac intoned emotionlessly, flicking up the image her face onto a large screen, "Would make a fine house slave. She is strong and would easily fit into any work crew. Her use is up to you."_

_Shepard looked out over the crowd, breathing slowly, trying to calm her shattered nerves. There were asari, salarian, batarian, turian…and several humans. Her lip twitched at the sight of them. Slave-buyers. Her hands clenched, but she would not turn away. She refused to slump her shoulders. She kept her head up, though it hurt her badly._

_Then green eyes met blue. A bright, intelligent blue that watched the proceedings with a flat stare. A turian. He sat with his arms folded, information scrolling down a visor that partially obscured his left eye. He was not bidding. She met that steady gaze for a while longer, before she realised she was once again flanked by guards._

_"Congratulations on your purchase. I am sure she will exceed your expectations," Morac handed her controller over to a large human male that stood off to one side._

_"Oh, I have no doubt," came the drawling reply._

_Shepard snapped her head to the side to regard her buyer. Dark, thick brows over narrow eyes. Heavy, hard features with deep space pallor and a mouth that had a mocking curve to it._

_"Come on, slave," he growled, "I want off this fucking station."_

_Shepard was shoved toward him. She turned her head back to the crowd, but could not see those blue eyes again._

* * *

_The ship was called the Dark Horizon. A pirate ship. She had been purchased by its Captain, Harlow Sukin. For six days she was locked in a cell, fed only through a slot in the door. She saw and spoke to no one. It was almost like a holiday. Her body healed, and though the cell was small, it was only slightly less than her prison cell. She worked out again. Hard. It passed the time._

_On the seventh day, the door opened. She was gestured out by one of the crew, a dark skinned man holding a pistol. He shoved her down the corridor._

_"Where are we going?" Shepard tried to keep her voice neutral, even if her hands were shaking. They had not manacled._

_"Walk," came the sharp reply._

_They passed into the navigation bay, and large windows revealed that their ship was docked with a cruiser. Shepard frowned. She was pushed toward the corridor that linked the two ships._

_The ship they were linked to was an Oracle supply liner. Minimal crew and weaponry, and no escort. Shepard knew the type, they did short jumps between planets within the same system. They rarely handled the stresses of a relay jump. She glanced around._

_"Eyes forward," came the growl, and another push between her shoulder blades._

_She walked into the ship's galley and nearly stumbled. There were dead. Everywhere. Blood made the floor slick. The Captain was squatting beside a dead crew member from the supply liner and removing a ring from his finger. He held it up to the light and admired the glint._

_"Slave," he smiled at her, his face speckled with blood, "You had better hope the description on your profile was right and you can lift a shitload of gear, because you are about to earn your keep. If I find the batarians lied - well, I will just kill you and leave you on board."_

_"It wasn't," Shepard tilted her head._

_"Then I suggest you get started," he leered at her._

_She shivered, and strode through the blood, her boots making awful squelching noises._

* * *

_Shepard was shoved into her cell, and stumbled toward the bed. She sat down, and put her head in her shaking hands._

_They had found a trembling girl in the storage area, hiding behind the crates. They had put a gun in her hands and told her to kill. She had refused. They had shocked her. Driven to her knees, she could hear the girl crying._

_"Kill her, or I will kill you," the Captain drawled, shoving Shepard in the ribs with his boot._

_"Please…no…please…my name is Lilith. I have a family, please…" the girl cried out in entreaty._

_"Kill her," the Captain spoke softly in her ear, a click as his safety released, "It's her or you."_

_Shepard had raised the gun._

_And pulled the trigger._

* * *

_That night, Shepard wept into her arms._

* * *

_Her life repeated that cycle. She was moved to a larger cell, and allowed to shower. She was given clothing - rough leather and canvas. But it was not the slaver jumpsuit and for that she was grateful. Boarding captured vessels to clear out the goods. They killed everyone. She talked to no one. And marked the dead she was responsible for on the wall of her cell. Fifteen. She did not know all their names. Only two. Lilith and a young man who dropped his gun before she shot him. He died with a look of surprise on his face, and his shirt bore the name 'Lincoln'._

_Her hair began to grow back. It was now a short, silky cap of red. Her face was lean, her arms corded with hard muscle. She lost the tan she had developed on Arvuna and her skin had a delicate pallor now._

_But on a crew with few women - she had seen two others only - she had become an object of interest. She could feel eyes crawling over her skin when she was let out by the Captain._

_One night, one of the crew gained access. Shepard had been sleeping on her hard cot when he brought in her breakfast tray rather than sliding it in through the slot and she had woken with a start when she felt a hand upon her breast. When they opened her unlocked cell at the morning watch to take back the tray from her morning meal, a shout had rung out. She was calmly eating her meal, and the would-be rapist lay on the floor of the cell with a broken neck._

_She had been dragged before the Captain, but he had merely laughed and sent her back to her cell. She got no food that night, or the following morning as punishment._

_She added the man's name to her list. Quinton._

* * *

_Shepard started awake when the ship gave a shudder. A distant boom shook her from her cot. She rolled on the floor and clutched the edge of the cot to steady her against the shaking, and sharp manouvres the Dark Horizon was making. She clenched her fist against her stomach and listened to the distant sounds of combat. Shouts and firing. After a while it grew quiet. Her door was opened with a small charge._

_She rose to a knee, and then to her feet as blue eyes met green._

_"Ms Shepard?" the dual toned voice echoed in the small room. It was the first time in months anyone had called her anything other than slave._

_She clenched her fists, "Who are you?"_

_"C-Sec," he paused, "Sort of. We are a little out of our jurisdiction."_

_"I don't understand," her voice was rusty from disuse and scarring._

_"We are returning from Palaven after leave. I recognised the ship," he shrugged, "My name is Garrus Vakarian. And I'm here to rescue you." His mandibles flared slightly in what seemed to be a smile, "You are safe now."_

_Shepard blinked, "The crew…"_

_Garrus shrugged, "Some dead. Some have been taken prisoner."_

_"The Captain?"_

_"Dead," the turian's voice was matter-of-fact._

_"Good."_

* * *

_The one called Garrus brought her soup._

_Soup._

_They had raided the supplies of the Dark Horizon to supply food for their non-turian guests: the three crew who surrendered, and she who slept in the first room that wasn't locked of a night time._

_He had opened the door and found her asleep on the floor, a bundled blanket as her pillow and a thin blanket as her covering. She wore her boots and had woken instantly as the rush of the door opening. Scrambling backwards, she had instantly clenched her fists and waited, relaxing only when he held out the steaming bowl._

_Shepard paused and took the bowl and the spoon. She lowered herself to the floor, ignoring the small table and chair nearby. Garrus pulled out the chair and set it a small distance away. He sat down._

_"Your name is Vaea Shepard, yes?"_

_She ate swiftly, her eyes darting around, before nodding._

_"Do you have anyone we can contact?" he asked gently._

_"No," her response was abrupt, a harsh snarl of refusal. She flinched, waiting for the shock. It took a moment to relax, and look up at him again. He was watching her with a frown._

_Shepard tapped the back of her neck with the spoon. It made a clunking sound, "Implant. If I wasn't a nice little slave, they…" she shrugged._

_"They can remove that where we are eventually going. The Heurta Memorial…"_

_"Going?"_

_"Yes, the Citadel," he watched her tense, the spoon pause on its path to her mouth, "Well, after we stop over on Korlus. We have somewhat of a roundabout trip. We are several days out of Korlus."_

_"Why were you at the slave auction?" her eyes were bright._

_Garrus paused, clearly turning what answer he would give._

_"Nevermind," Shepard snapped, "You are clearly just going to lie now."_

_He blinked. He had been. And rubbed his fringe awkwardly._

_"I was …recon," he finally admitted._

_She looked up at him again and frowned, setting the spoon in her bowl._

_"I wasn't…really on leave," the turian continued, rubbing a hand on his armour, a nervous gesture. She couldn't work out why he was edgy._

_"Those batarian pirates had attacked a human prison out on Avuna. The Citadel, to show they would support efforts to prevent it occuring again, sent me..us..to investigate. I was there to…see what was occuring."_

_"Why didn't you stop it?" her green eyes were fierce._

_"One against that many?" he quirked a mandible._

_"Have you stopped it?" Shepard asked quietly, staring at the blue rim of her bowl._

_"No, they got wind of us and bugged out," Garrus' voice rumbled with regret._

_Shepard's hands clutched the bowl. The ceramic walls shattered in her strong grasp and several shards went through the palms of her hand. Garrus leapt up, a cry coming from his lips, "Shepard!"_

_"Get out," she snarled, her hands resting palm up in her lap. She looked up at him with the angriest eyes he had ever seen, "Get out now!"_

_"You need help!" Garrus kicked aside a large shard and knelt beside her, reaching for her hands._

_"Don't fucking touch me!" Shepard's booted feet scraped on the cement, and she scrambled backward, her back coming up against a metal locker. He rose uneasily._

_"I will send the medic," Garrus murmured, beating a hasty retreat from the room._

* * *

_Garrus stood beside the ship's captain, Quintus Sevius, watching their medic, Auradus, working over the human woman's hands in her room via the vidcomm they had turned on. She was grim faced and silent, watching the turian doctor work._

_"I can't imagine what she has been through," Garrus muttered, his arms folded across his broad chest._

_The older turian grunted, "Prisoner. Slave. Pirate. Can't imagine it was pretty. Have you found anything on her?"_

_"There was a Vaea Brenneman on Avuna, but no Vaea Shepard. This woman is too young to be Brenneman."_

_"Keep looking. See if they can give you a list of unaccounted dead,"_

_"Just waiting for the labs. They had five hundred and six bodies to identify. Most of them were in pieces. Those bastards knew what they were doing when they planted those bombs. The Alliance estimates that they took fifty humans from that place - men and women. They blew the rest."_

_"It's a damn shame you couldn't find them, Vakarian."_

_"I will, sir," Garrus replied grimly, watching Shepard get her hands bandaged, "You can believe that I will."_


	6. Chapter 6 - edited

Shepard's hands smoothed over the blue and black armour, seeking the catches on the sides. She flicked two and Garrus assisted with the third when she fumbled. The blue and black plates lifted off, followed by the black underarmour, revealing a lean, muscular torso plated with metal. She slipped her fingertips into the curved waistband, and tugged him toward her.

Garrus reached around and hooked a talon through the loop that tugged the zipper up and down on her bodyarmour. The pale curve of her neck was revealed, coiled with the dark streaks of a tattoo. Garrus leaned forward and traced the design with his tongue. She tilted her head and sighed, clutching his upper arms to keep her steady. His hands tugged the sleeves of her tunic down. She was trapped briefly and for a moment, she stiffened with panic, her eyes going wide in fear.

"Shhh," Garrus' passion darkened eyes met her own, "You once trusted me." He kissed her gently and untangled her hands from the clinging fabric. The naked line of her back was a web of scars, tattoos and the lightest dappling of freckles over the pale skin. He traced her spine, lightly dragging his nails over the sensitive ridges. She shivered and raised her hands to curve against his neck. He made a low rumbling sound in his chest, dropping his hands to her butt and yanking her toward him for a hard kiss. Her breasts pressed against the solid plates on his upper chest, her belly flat against the softer skin of his ridged abdomen.

"I trust you," she replied, when they came up for air.

They divested themselves of boots and breeches and pushing him gently down to the couch, Shepard knelt on the soft leather and brought her lips to his neck. Garrus scritched his talons lightly down her back again. She arched her spine and her skin goosebumped.

Shepard settled herself on Garrus' lap, knees bracketing his hips. His hands slid up her thighs, his talons scraping the firm muscle. She cupped his face in her hands, her rough fingers caressing his mandibles. She kissed his lips with a delicate brush. He skimmed his hands up her torso, the long fingers almost meeting at her narrow waist.

Her kisses deepened and he responded hesitantly at first, caution overriding his passion. But when her tongue slid fearlessly into his mouth and taunted his own, his hands curved over her breasts, the talons scraping at her nipples with a frission that made her unconsciously rock her groin against his own.

Shepard made a soft sound against his lips and reached down to encircle his length in her hand. She bit her lip and watched him with luminous eyes as she teased his passion to a peak. Garrus wrapped a hand around her wrist after a dozen strokes, his breath coming in hitching gasps, "You keep doing that, Vaea, I'm going to embarrass myself." Keeping her wrist encircled, but gently, he pressed her hand to her lower back and held it there. His other hand went to her groin and he used the rough length of his finger to press, to circle, to grind against her. She gasped, closing her eyes and slid her hips back and forth against his knuckle. Her forehead rested on his, her breath mingling with his own as she tried to maintain control.

The turian pulled his hand away, and using the hand pressed to her lower back, tugged her inexorably forward, sliding her onto his length. Her eyes flew open as he pressed against her entrance. She pulsed her hips, dragging him back and forth. She was slick with heat, but he was large. Shepard wrapped a hand around his neck, and her forehead dropped to his cowl as she groaned against the stretching, the probing, the incredible filling that blew all the chill from her heart. Garrus released the hand he was holding, and it flew to his shoulder. Her nails skittered across the metal plates there, before they found purchase.

Shepard moved slowly, her hips grinding, defining the pace. She looked straight into his eyes, the intensity a shimmering veil of heat between them. Too long denied another's touch, she drove herself onward. Too long without his touch, she watched him fiercely.

"Spirits…" Garrus groaned, tugging her forward in one movement. She cried out against the sudden filling, but it was not a cry of pain. He caught a nipple between his lip plates and tugged. She jerked her hips back, and slammed them forward again…and again. Their joining had sweat slicking her strong body, and he tasted it.

"Oh…gods," she threw back her head as her trembling thighs threatened to give out. She moaned in frustration. He slid a hand under her backside, and still joined, tumbled her sideways so she lay now on her back. Her eyes opened in shock.

"Let me do some of the work now," Garrus murmured against her neck. Shepard sighed her agreement and he picked up the pace, rocking in and out of her heat. She began making small noises, groans, interspersed with the occasional, "Oh gods, yes. Harder. Yes!"

"As the lady wishes," Garrus rumbled a soft laugh, and she wrapped her legs around his narrow waist. And he drove her hard. She reached out and slammed a hand on the couch, clutching the leather, leaving small, halfmoon indentations.

When she came, her head arced back, exposing the long line of her neck, her eyes closed and she cried out. Mere inches from her, he caught the cry in his mouth. No more than three more thrusts had him tensing. He pulled out in time and spent himself on her belly. He barely had the presence of mind to collapse on his side, ensuring he didn't crush her. Their legs were entangled and her hand snuck up to rest against his heart, feeling its pounding rhythm as they caught their breath.

"I guess some things never change," Shepard chuckled drily, shifting so that her head pillowed on her bent arm, rather than the hard plates of his torso.

"No, this we were good at," Garrus agreed, his voice enigmatic.

Shepard tilted her head to look at him. And sighed.

"I'm sorry I left the way I did. But if I hadn't, you wouldn't have let me go," she shifted her gaze to stare at their joined hands, "We were headed in two different directions."

"You should have returned to the Citadel for help. You should have trusted I would have looked out for you."

"Garrus," Shepard tilted her head again, this time reaching up to touch his lip plates with her fingertips, "They would have returned me to jail. I couldn't. Not again. I couldn't face that cell." Her voice grew rough.

"I would have helped!" he protested, kissing her fingertips, "You were innocent!"

"You couldn't. Not then," Shepard murmured, "I didn't have the information I have now." She settled back down into his embrace, "You saved my life, Garrus. The one hope I had given myself in years."

"I fell in love with you, Vaea," he replied bluntly, "I still am."

"And in my own way, Garrus, the only way I could," Shepard murmured, "I was in love with you."

"Was?" he stilled.

She paused, "I…was broken, Garrus. You offered me a respite from my life, but it would have ended one way or another. We were in a rareified atmosphere in that ship."

"Hrmmm," he rumbled, a myriad of expressions flickering through his bright blue eyes, "What will you do? When you have your vengeance?"

"I don't know," Shepard closed her eyes, "I haven't thought that far."

Garrus peered down at the lean, tough human now tucked beside him, her limbs tangled with his own still. Her body bore the marks of his lovemaking, reddened and some already bruising. He frowned in annoyance at himself. She sensed his distraction and splayed her hand over his heart.

"Stop thinking so much, Vakarian," she murmured sleepily, "I can hear it from here."

"I don't want you hurt."

"I'm pretty tough," she tapped a blunt fingernail on a metal plate.

"I don't want you hurt here…" he touched her bare chest, just over her heart.

"You don't have to worry about that," Shepard murmured, her voice slurring with tiredness.

His hand rhythmically stroked her short hair, and he felt her limbs go limp with sleep.

"I worry, Vaea," he murmured into her hair.

* * *

They made love again the following morning in the shower. Slow and thoughtful, staring into each others eyes, her legs wrapped around his waist while he thrust, the warm water spilling like silk over their mating bodies.

With her bodysuit tugged back on, she heard Garrus get the call from Nolan. She raised a hand to her brow. This interlude from her reality was over. When she killed Nolan, Garrus would never forgive her. Never forgive her lies.

* * *

A/N - My apologies for any errors - I have come down with a rather nasty cold. This sadly took a lot longer to write than usual.


	7. Chapter 7 - Part 1

_ "Do you want to leave the room today?" Garrus asked from his position by the door, while she ate her breakfast awkwardly with her stiff, scarred hands from her seated posture on the floor. She was holding the fork between thumb and the side of her forefinger and laid it down before looking up at him. _  
_When Garrus had knocked on the door, there had been a pause before a hesitant 'come in' was called. She was dressed when he entered. Seated cross legged on the ground, her hands resting lightly on her thighs, her eyes closed. Her blankets were neatly folded and stacked on the bed, but he knew she had slept again on the floor._  
_"What…are you doing?" he had asked, setting her tray on the table._  
_"Thinking," she had replied, lifting her face to regard him with bright green eyes._  
_Shepard had grasped the plate of eggs and bread and when the knife had clattered to the ground, she had stilled, her expression suddenly wary. Garrus leaned down, and reached for the knife as she did. His hand enfolded hers on the implement and she jerked away, taking a few wary steps backward. He eased slowly backwards and sat back on the chair, keeping his hands open and resting on his thighs._  
_When he had asked about leaving the room, a look of sudden fear flickered across her face but it was quickly shuttered, "I can leave the room whenever I want."_  
_"But you haven't. Not even to shower," Garrus gestured at the neat folded towel and soap that sat on top of it._  
_"I'm not afraid, you know," she resumed eating with slow movements._  
_"I have a feeling that not much makes you afraid, Ms Shepard," Garrus replied quietly._  
_"Vaea," she took a mouthful and chewed, staring at the opposite wall._  
_"I'm sorry?"_  
_"You saved my life," she glanced sideways at him, "You can call me Vaea."_  
_"Then call me Garrus."_  
_"As you wish."_  
_There was silence in the room, "Have a shower today, Vaea. You will feel better. I am only sorry we cannot offer clothing more suitable. But…" Garrus gestured vaguely, "I think you would look quite odd in something of mine."_  
_She looked at him then and smiled. He blinked. The expression was only brief but it transformed her narrow, serious face into something quite lovely._  
_"If…I shower…can I lock the door?" Shepard asked hesitantly._  
_"It can be locked and I will stand guard myself."_  
_Shepard chewed thoughtfully on her lip, "Then, alright, I will." She rose slowly to her feet, the motion graceful. She put the plate on the tray and he stood up beside her. She took a step back from his nearness and covered her caution by heading for the towel and picking it up. Garrus had picked up the tray and gestured for the door of her room, "To your left. Down the end of the corridor. That door there is the head. Shepard nodded and slowly moved down the corridor, her steps gaining in surety, her chin high. A tall turian with red markings on his face came out of a room, nodded politely at her. She paused momentarily, and nodded back. Garrus watched her, his mandibles flickering thoughtfully. The turian saluted him and he returned the gesture. _  
_When Shepard opened the door to the showers, she looked back at him, hesitating before she closed it. Garrus moved down the corridor to stand outside - feeling a little like a prize idiot. But he needed her comfortable. Comfortable enough to talk to him. He wanted to take down those pirates and she was his best source right now - but she flinched every time he spoke as though she expected a blow to follow it. He wondered what her last years had been like. _

* * *

_Unknown to her, he had asked the Captain to slow their journey a little. Extend it by a few days. She was trusting him a little more. She no longer ate on the floor. He had convinced her to eat her breakfast at the table while he sat on the bed she still did not use. Her vulnerable neck was bent forward while her arm curled around her plate. He could see the vicious cybernetics that had been inserted into her spine and skull. It had taken a butcher to insert them - he could see the scars, and it would take a surgeon to remove them. When they got to the Citadel, he would see she got the help she needed, but he needed her to talk to him first._  
_Garrus had escorted her to the port crew lounge as the night cycle began on board. It was comfortable, and emptied, since rec time was over and most turians were on duty or getting rack time. She had first sat on a sofa, and when he had lowered the sky shield, had been dazzled by the sheer vast array of stars. She had moved then to stand beside him and placed her hand on the glass._  
_"I had always wanted to see the stars. Growing up on Earth…well…you have heard what it is like," Shepard's smile was faint, but present, "When I got my first posting after Basic, I was so excited. So…ready. It was nothing like what I had expected." She turned luminous eyes upon him, and his heart thudded. _  
_"What was it like?" Garrus asked, leaning back against the ledge that could be sat on. Shepard did so, her booted feet dangling. She looked like she should have been vulnerable, almost childlike, but the play of muscle on her arms, the features that were still hard and lean, made it impossible to think of her as innocent. Her face turned to watch the sky they travelled though._  
_"It was incredible. So much better than I could have imagined," she rested her hot forehead against the relieving cool of the glass, "I wanted to make my life among the stars." She quirked another smile, though this one was sad. She linked her hands around a knee that she lifted up to make herself comfortable, "I was going to be married, you know. Before?" She glanced at him briefly._  
_"Ah," Garrus tamped down on the jealousy that sang in his system, "What happened?"_  
_"He didn't believe in me enough," she shrugged, and turned her head back._  
_"I am sorry to hear that, Vaea," Garrus laid a hand on her forearm. She didn't jerk away. She just stared at it thoughtfully._  
_"Why are you being kind to me, Garrus?" she asked abruptly, her eyes meeting his, "What do you want?"_  
_"I don't want anything," he shook his head._  
_"You just told a lie," she pulled back, disappointment in her face, "You expect me to trust you, and yet you are not trustworthy."_  
_He rubbed the back of his neck, "Yes. You are right. I apologise. In truth, I wish to know detail about the pirates, but you…" he shook his head, "…I wish to help you."_  
_"I don't ask for or require your help," Shepard replied, her gaze steady on his._  
_"You were imprisoned, tortured and sold as a slave," Garrus replied with a frown._  
_"I'm well aware of that,"_  
_"And you believe that it did not change you, it did not affect you in some way?"_  
_Shepard laughed, and it was a harsh sound, "It changed me in every way, Vakarian. I am, who I am, because of these last five years. My own mother would not recognise me."_  
_"Do you not wish to be who you were before?" Garrus was surprised._  
_"That is an irrelevant question, Vakarian," Shepard shook her head, "I can never be that person again, so why wish for that which can never occur."_  
_"Why were you imprisoned?"_  
_"Would you believe me if I said I was innocent?" her voice was dry._  
_"If you told me so, I would believe it," Garrus replied, resting a wrist upon his bent knee, mirroring her posture._  
_Shepard tilted her head in curiosity, "You are telling the truth. I might have killed ten people."_  
_"I believe you have killed ten people," Garrus held her gaze steadily, "But I do not believe that was why you were imprisoned." _  
_"Right on both counts," Shepard pointed a finger at him, and sighed, "I was stupid. And trusted the wrong people. When I was accused, I was unable to stand against the evidence piled against me. I thought because I was innocent, I would be acquitted. And since then, I have been forced to do the very things I truly should be imprisoned for."_  
_"What happened when the batarians attacked?" Garrus shifted his line of questioning._  
_"We heard the attack," Shepard tilted her head back against the bulkhead, "And tried to run. We didn't think about escaping the prison, but we had no desire to just sit and die. As it turned out, some things are worse than death."_  
_"Where did they take you?" _  
_"A ship," Shepard closed her eyes, the long line of her neck a pale drift in the dim light, "There were cells. So many cells. And we would be taken out and questioned. And every day, fewer could be heard crying at night."_  
_A strong hand wrapped around hers, and she clutched it strongly. She breathed out, "They tortured us, to find out where we came from. Who we had waiting for us."_  
_"I don't understand."_  
_"If there was a chance that someone had people to look for them, they were killed," Shepard was blunt. Garrus made a soft sound in his chest. She opened her eyes. He was watching her with sympathetic blue eyes. _  
_"And you lied to them?" he asked gently._  
_"They questioned me for three weeks, and I didn't change my story. I became Vaea Shepard," she rubbed her jaw with her knuckles before sliding her hand up to her neck._  
_"Who were you before?"_  
_"It doesn't matter," she tried to rub her neck with a gesture that seemed to be habitual. When her fingers contacted the metal of the implant, she flinched and withdrew her hand to rest upon her abdomen._  
_"You are innocent. You could return to the Citadel and pick up where you left off."_  
_"I don't think you understand," she shook her head, "I don't want to be that person again. She was an idiot. She was a coward. She relied on others to fight for her."_  
_"You have no wish to be reunited with the man you wished to marry?"_  
_"He did not believe in me," she repeated her earlier statement, "Do you think me so small as to love a man like that?"_  
_"I can't answer that," Garrus replied stiffly._  
_"No," Shepard turned her gaze to the stars, "No, I don't imagine you can."_  
_"What happened after those three weeks?" he shifted gears again._  
_Shepard just slid her hands into her hair and tugged the short strands aside. She stared directly out into the black. _  
_"They wired my brain to fry if I didn't play nice. And then they sold me to the highest bidder." She refused to look at him, and dropped her arm to her belly, wrapping around her torso in protection, "I witnessed them killing and was forced to kill. I took the lives of innocents for the fear that my brain would explode."_  
_"That doesn't make you a killer," Garrus shifted closer and curved a hand around her shoulder. _  
_She was breathing swiftly, a wisp of panic underlying the control, "Yes, it does."_  
_He invaded her space and laid a palm against her face, "No, it doesn't."_  
_"Don't," she tried to pull back and he yanked his hand back._  
_"I'm sorry," _  
_She laid a hand on her forehead, and pressed her temple to the cold glass. She closed her eyes, "I'm sorry. I know you are trying to help. But I can't handle…touching."_  
_"I wont do it again unless you ask it, Vaea," Garrus sounded troubled, "I promise."_  
_They sat in silence for a long while, until she asked, "How long until we get to Korlus?"_  
_"Four days."_  
_Shepard stood up, "I want to make myself useful. I need…to not be in my room anymore. Is there something I can do?"_  
_"What do you know how to do?"_  
_"Strip and clean weapons and move heavy objects from one spot to another," her voice was drily self deprecating._  
_Garrus paused, uncertain as to weather she was joking._  
_"I will do anything, Garrus, including peeling vegetables," Shepard stood slowly, "I spent the last five years with someone telling me when to eat, work, sleep and shower. If you are returning me to the Citadel, I will no doubt be returning to that - though with less chance of someone hitting a button to cause pain. I might as well stop lazing around in my room."_  
_"Very well, I will ask the Captain," he demurred._  
_Vaea nodded, "I would appreciate it."_

* * *

_Vaea scrubbed the back of her hand across her face and swiped a smear of gun grease across her cheek. She slapped the last segment of the rifle back together and dryfired the mechanism to test that it still worked. The turian in charge of the gun bay glanced up, "Done already?"_  
_"Yep," she walked to the weapon rack and laid it gently in place, patting its beautiful curves with a desirous hand._  
_"Fast," Aurelius acknowledged as she pulled down a pistol._  
_"I had incentive to go fast," came her drawling reply._  
_"Yeah, heard about that," Aurelius leisurely cleaned and greased a barrel piece, eyeing the shaft with an experienced eye, "Must have been shite."_  
_Vaea nodded easily, "Oh, it was. But…you all got me out."_  
_"Oh, that weren't nothing to do with us," Aurelius slotted the barrel back into its housing, "Vakarian spotted the Dark Horizon on the scanners and ordered the Captain to board it. We were just going to float right on by. We weren't exactly equipped for boarding."_  
_"He…ordered the Captain?"_  
_Aurelius glanced up at her, his dark eyes curious, "You don't know who Garrus Vakarian is, do you?"_  
_"A C-Sec officer?"_  
_Aurelius chuckled, "Oh, it's so much more complicated that that, Shepard. He's a Spectre."_  
_Vaea stilled. Her eyes narrowed, "Are you fucking kidding me?"_  
_Aurelius frowned at her expletive, "I don't…kid."_  
_"Shit," Vaea put the pistol back on its rack, "I will be right back, Aurelius. I need to have a chat with the Spectre."_  
_Aurelius fluttered his mandibles in amusement, "No worries. You are here on a purely voluntary basis…"_

* * *

_"You lied to me. Again," Vaea marched up to Garrus where he stood at the console in the Main Battery, rapidly typing in a series of numbers that meant nothing to her. Calibrations never did._  
_Garrus paused and turned his head to look at her, "Can it wait, Shepard? I'm a little busy."_  
_She slammed her hand into his shoulder, and he rocked a little in surprise. He took his hands off the console and turned to look at her, anger flickering over his features, "You fucking lied to me."_  
_"You are going to have to be a little more specific," Garrus snapped, losing a little patience._  
_"You are a Spectre," she snarled in reply, "Here you are …swanning around, pretending to just be one of the men. And you are a fucking Spectre? What? Your job was to bring me in? To bring in everyone who was taken from the prison?"_  
_"Partially, yes," Garrus' chin tilted upright, and his eyes narrowed, "Some of those who escaped truly deserved to be in there. My job is to ensure their murdering and thieving does not extend through the galaxy."_  
_"You are just going to hand me over when we get to the Citadel, aren't you?" Shepard's voice trembled with anger, "You didn't rescue me. You got me back to put me right back into a cell." Her eyes flashed with anger…and fear._  
_"I promise, I will help you," Garrus reached out to touch her._  
_"Don't you dare," she slapped his hand away, "Don't you fucking dare touch me."_  
_He ignored her, and using his strength, he gripped her upper arms, "Listen to me, Shepard! You blame me for not telling you that I was a Spectre. Yes, I was sent to investigate the prison bombing. My mission is twofold - I need to get back those very real criminals you had been thrown in with…and to take down the slavers that took you. You say you are innocent? I can get your case re-opened. I can get someone to investigate. To talk to people again."_  
_"And in the meantime?" Shepard clenched her fists, very still in his grasp, "What? I get to sit, moulder and trust your completely worthless word?"_  
_"You would need to be remanded into custody, yes," Garrus was blunt, "But I believe in your innocence."_  
_Shepard placed her hands on his chest for a moment and shoved. Hard. He staggered backward, barely catching himself on the edge of the console to avoid crashing to the ground._  
_She stood with hands clenched, eyes wild and features ghost-pale. Without saying another word, she turned and stalked out of the battery. He rubbed his chest ruefully. He was glad she hadn't punched him. He had a feeling that might have been significantly more painful._

* * *

_Shepard sat at the extranet terminal down in the armoury and hesitated. Did she really want to know? She had avoided finding out anything about her old life before, and since she refused to acknowledge Vakarian's presence, she could not ask him. Aurelius had logged her on and headed about his business._  
_She decided that not knowing was worse. She typed in the search terms and flicked through several irrelevant items, before frowning. She selected the eighth article and brought it up on screen. It was a news item from Westerlund news. Maybe three months old. _

* * *

_"Uhh, sir?" Aurelius' voice came over the comm in the main battery, "I have Vaea down here."_  
_"I believe that she has permission, but if you don't want her, just send her back up," Garrus replied in irritation, his fingers reconfiguring the gunnery parameters yet again. He needed the distraction._  
_"No, I mean…she's huddled in a corner behind one of the ground vehicles. Just crying…" Aurelius uttered hesitantly, "Not really sure what to do, sir. Figured you might."_  
_Garrus sighed, "Fine, I will be down there shortly."_

* * *

_Shepard stiffened as long, strong arms went around her shoulders, but it was only momentary. Warmth enveloped her and she collapsed into the embrace, unable to stop the outpouring of grief to even pay attention to who it was. _  
_"It's alright," a hand cupped the back of her head, the other braced her back, and she knew that voice. Knew its timbre, and since she was now virtually wrapped around him, crying her eyes out, now knew its vibration through her body._  
_Her voice was thick with sorrow as she hiccuped the words, "Garrus… my…parents."_  
_"Oh, Vaea," with a flex of his formidable muscle, he levered her so she sat in his lap. He held her as one would a child, gently but firmly. She did not resist and curled against his chest, her hands tucked under her chin, splayed across his heart. He just held her, his hand soothingly tracing her spine, an automatic gesture of comfort._  
_After many long minutes the storm subsided, the silence punctuated by the occasional sob. _  
_"I didn't know," she murmured tiredly, her eyes resolutely closed._  
_"How could you?" she could feel his lips moving against her hair, and knew she was warmly tucked under his chin, "Do you want to talk about it?"_  
_"They died. Their ship crashed on transfer from Mars," her eyes were welling up, and she cried quietly for a few more moments. He just held her. When she could speak again, "Gods, Garrus. I'm sorry."_  
_"Why are you sorry, Vaea?" his hand gently stroked her hair._  
_"I blamed you for doing your job. You didn't lie…exactly. I should have realised what you were doing, I was just too relieved to be rescued," Shepard spoke so softly he could barely hear her, "I understand…" her voice grew faint, the exhaustion from the storm of grief overpowering her, "…what I have to do…now."_

* * *

_Aurelius watched the respected Spectre haul Shepard up in his arms, her body limp, but carried easily. He stood by the elevator and pressed the call button._  
_"She's a good kid, sir," he murmured to Garrus as he stood waiting for it to arrive, his arms full of sleeping human, "Been through a lot."_  
_"I know, Gunnery Chief," Garrus nodded._  
_"Just…be careful of her, sir. She ain't tough all the way through, y'know," the turian chief cleared his throat and stepped back as the doors opened. Garrus walked silently in and as the doors closed he muttered, "You are a dangerous woman, Vaea. You can twist a man around your little finger, and demand his devotion, without even trying."_

* * *

_Garrus laid her down on her mattress, refusing to put her on the floor even though it was clear that was where she slept. He straightened, shaking out his aching arms. For a little thing, she was pretty solid. Her cheeks were still tear streaked, and he reached down to tug a blanket over her. _  
_A pale hand wrapped itself around his wrist. He was startled and glanced up into eyes barely open more than mere slits. Her voice was barely a breath of air._  
_"Please…" she murmured, "Please don't leave me alone just yet."_  
_Admit it, he scowled to himself, she has you all wrapped up in knots too. Ever since the day you saw her on the slave auction block. Those green eyes had you from that moment. _  
_"Okay," he tugged the chair over from near the foot of the bed. A simple padded armchair big enough to fit his tall form. He lowered himself into it and was faintly surprised when her hand sought his. Though she despised him, right now, she needed him to chase away the nightmares. He sighed as he watched her fade into sleep, her hand growing limp. He made himself comfortable. _

* * *

_The night was always darkest before the dawn. And so went Vaea's dreaming. She was back on the slave ship. Cold. In constant pain and without hope. She expected to die every time they dragged her out. They came for her, rough hands on smooth skin and she cried out for help. She was thrown to her knees in the interrogation chamber and realised she wasn't alone. The metal cross she had been lashed to more than once held a woman._  
_"Brenneman?" she croaked in her dream, blood dripping to the floor from her mouth._  
_The woman lifted her head. No. It wasn't Brenneman. It was her mother. Vaea surged to her feet and began to fight. She punched, kicked, hammered against the solid flesh of her guard. Her mother was screaming. Maroc had the knives. The knives. She knew the knives. The guards grabbed and held her while she screamed…_

* * *

_…And realised she was in a soft bed, in the firm embrace of the turian who had rescued her from the nightmare that had been her reality. For a moment, she forgot her enmity and held on while the hammering of her heart stilled. Garrus sat on the edge of the bed, near her head, and she was curved into the crook of his arm. He was rocking her._  
_"It was just a nightmare. You are safe," he was murmuring over and over, "Hush. You are safe."_  
_She wept…and knew not why. When she quieted, he moved to lay her down, but she opened her eyes, awash still with pain, and asked of him, "Don't leave…" _  
_"It's alright, I wont go anywhere," And he stretched out beside her, taking up a significant portion of the bed, but she curled up against him, seeking his warmth to chase the chill of fear away from her bones. Finally, she slept. Though he didn't. His arm went numb, but he did not move. She would likely regret her need for physical contact with another being when the morning came. But until then, he would give what she asked without hesitation._

* * *

A/N - This is part one of a two part chapter. I wanted to tell this right and its turning into something longer than I intended. This ridiculous headcold is making it a harder task than normal. I shall try to post the second part later this evening.


	8. Chapter 8 - Part 2

_She moved through an apartment, its furnishings light and sleek. A fire crackled in a stone hearth while delicious smells came from the kitchen. She trailed her fingertips along the back of a leather couch. She glanced down at herself and realised she wore a dress; an ephemeral dark green silk that shimmering with bronze fibres in the weave. Her back was left bare, the neckline a plunging vee and up to a halterneck clasped with a bronze chain. Her arms were bare but for a pair of wide bronze bands that clasped her biceps, and the full skirts drifted against her legs with every step. She had never worn this dress. She recognised it from a picture her mother had sent her. Her wedding dress. She stared around the place that must be her home. She could hear someone banging around in the kitchen._

_"Kaidan?" she tried hesitantly, then louder, "Hello?"_

_The person in the kitchen strolled out, "Hey, love, I got dinner started. The girls said they would be here once they landed."_

_She pressed a hand to her belly, "Garrus?"_

_"…Yes?" the turian walked toward her and kissed her on the brow._

_She flinched and he ran his hands down her arms, frowning, "What's wrong? You look pale…"_

* * *

_Shepard gasped awake, and realised she was plastered up against Garrus Vakarian. Her eyes wide in the faint light from a desk lamp, she assessed her position swiftly. She was fully clothed. Check. He was fully clothed. Thank the gods. What had happened? She blinked slowly, her fuzzy brain trying to recall… and made a small sound of pain. Her parents. The agony struck her again and she flinched as the arms that had been holding her tightened._

_"Are you awake?" came the murmur from the turian._

_A single tear slid out and down her cheek. A gentle hand brushed it aside._

_"You asked me not to leave," he continued, "If you wish me to go, I shall. But I'm here, if you need me."_

_Garrus could tell she hovered on the brink of indecision - pride warred with pain and loneliness. He whispered the words, "We were angry at each other. But sometimes we just need someone else once in a while. It is not a weakness." His knuckle brushed her cheekbone gently, and she tilted her head up to look at him with a troubled gaze, "You have been through more than any one person should be asked to bear. Let someone help you carry it, Vaea."_

_Her hand reached up to enfold his, and for a moment, he thought she planned to push him away. But she linked her fingers with his own and silently tucked their joined fingers to her chest._

_"I don't…need anyone else…" Shepard murmured softly in reply, "But right now, I want you here."_

_"Then I'm not going anywhere," she could feel his lips press against her brow and was oddly comforted rather than terrified at the touch._

* * *

_When Shepard woke again she was facing the wall. Garrus' entire body was pressed up against her back, with one arm slung around her waist. She got the sense he was asleep now. He was so relaxed and his arm was heavy. She expected to feel stressed at being trapped, but there was just warmth. Indecision marked her movements, and she shifted a little, trying not to wake him. But she sensed the moment he was roused, because the arm over her waist flexed and his breathing changed._

_Shepard turned over in his arms until they were face to face. Green eyes met sleepy blue. Experimentally, she reached up and touched his jaw, curiosity in her gaze as she compared the texture of his plates to soft human skin. It was smoother than she expected. Smoother and warmer. She sensed his wariness._

_"Vaea…" he spoke her name softly._

_"Just…wait…" she touched his lips with her fingertips. She watched his eyes darken. Before she could talk herself out of this moment, she reached up and kissed him gently. It was an odd sensation, but not unpleasant. She could feel tension vibrate through his arms. She leaned back, "I just wanted to know what that was like." Her gaze was serious as she met his eyes again._

_"What? Kissing a turian?" Garrus' eyes cleared and gained a small flicker of amusement._

_"No," she shook her head, "Kissing you."_

_Garrus traced his talons through her hair, "Even knowing I have to place you under arrest when we get to the Citadel?"_

_"Don't spoil the mood, Spectre," Shepard drawled, her long legs twined with his own, "When we get up, I will probably have to return to being mad at you."_

_"I wish you wouldn't," Garrus replied dryly, "You being mad is decidedly unpleasant. Aurelius gave me quite the stinkeye yesterday."_

_"Aurelius is…kind," Shepard rested her cheek on the hard plates of his chest for a moment, "I owe him an apology for last night. I lost it like a terrified child. I have…control again today."_

_"That just makes you alive, Vaea. It is nothing to apologise for, nor to be ashamed of. Sometimes you have to release that control."_

_"The ship will be waking up," Shepard reminded him after a moment of silence._

_"Yes, it will," Garrus agreed._

_"You should probably get up," she poked him with a finger._

_"But I am finding it remarkably pleasant right here," he tried for droll._

_"If this is your flirting, Vakarian, you aren't very good at it."_

_"I'm not flirting. I'm telling the truth. I have decided that you scare me too much to hide anything from you again," Garrus replied airily._

_Shepard muttered something under her breath, and wiggled out from his embrace. She straddled his hips for a heartstopping moment before levering herself to the floor. He chuckled at the flush on her cheek. She cleared her throat and grabbed the towel that hung at the end of her bed. He swung himself to seated and regarded her silently as she collected her shower gear, along with a change of clothing. She paused at the doorway._

_"Garrus?" she tapped her fingers on the frame, and regarded him steadily, "Thank you for last night. After the last few years, I thought I could handle anything life could throw out me. You were there when I realised I couldn't. I won't forget that."_

_The door closed behind her and Garrus' bravado failed him. He dropped his head into his hands, "You utter and complete fool."_

* * *

_Garrus was gone when she returned from the shower and she tamped down on the feeling of disappointment. She waited uneasily in the room for a moment, made the bed, folded her clothing. She paced, and made a decision._

* * *

_The mess hall had three long tables all jammed in one upon the other. More than large enough for Shepard to have space, but for the near-on seven foot tall turians that surrounded her, it was a place of jostling elbows and bumping knees._

_The turian cook winked at her and slid a tray across where toast piled high next to yellow fluffy eggs._

_"You have been cooking for me this week?" she asked him with a smile._

_"You got it," he nodded, his mottled grey plates patterned with yellow clan markings._

_"Thankyou," she held out her hand. He engulfed herself with a massive paw._

_"Quite welcome, little girl. Garrus said to look after you, so I did," his mandibles fluttered with a smile as he nodded at the far table._

_Shepard turned her head to see Garrus surrounded by crewmates, all tall, well muscled and laughing. His eyes met hers across the room, clearly surprised. She smiled in reply before seeking a seat._

_"Well, hey there, little one," Aurelius greeted her, patting the empty seat beside him, "I'm greatly sorry to hear about your news."_

_She gave him a small smile, "It was a great shock. I am sorry that I couldn't hold it together."_

_Aurelius thumped her gently on the shoulder, "Kid, considering what you have been through, I'm surprised you aren't a complete mess. You have impressed the hell out of everyone here. Losing your parents, that can bring a grown turian to their knees."_

_There was several rumbles of agreement as turians, whose weapons she had cleaned and fixed, cast in their opinion. Aurelius dropped his voice, "I heard a rumour that when we get you back to the Citadel, you have to head back to jail."_

_Shepard pointed her fork at him, "You really need to work on your breakfast conversation, Aurelius." She took a mouthful of eggs._

_"Bullshit, kid," the older man scoffed, "I don't think you did shit. And Garrus agrees, but he's hamstrung by bureaucracy."_

_He glanced from side to side. The turians around them were studiously eating and talking loudly, clearly covering their conversation._

_"If you can get away on Korlus, do it. I don't think Vakarian will look too hard for you."_

_Shepard glanced at Garrus. He was watching her thoughtfully. She stared back, unsmiling, before speaking in an undertone._

_"You are a good man, Aurelius," Shepard stabbed another mouthful of eggs, but it hovered on her fork for a moment, "I can assure you, I will never go back into a cell."_

_Aurelius grinned, "Nope, I don't figure you will."_

_Their breakfast conversation turned to other matters. A winding, amusing conversation that had her laughing several times, bringing her out of the remaining heartache of the night before. At the end, she lifted her tray and headed for the kitchen line. She met Garrus at the sink while she rinsed her dishes and stacked them on the tray. She turned and looked up at him in silence._

_"Have a good day," he intoned softly._

_She quirked a smile and headed toward the elevator._

* * *

_Shepard touched the sensor plate to access the main battery. Garrus had a panel open on the side of the big guns and was using something that hissed and sparked to fix…oh, she really didn't care._

_"Hey," she greeted him, "Do you ever…leave this place?"_

_"What? I like big guns," Garrus chuckled, and glanced up at her, "Can I help with something, Vaea?"_

_"Been a long day. I thought you might like some dinner?" she strolled up to examine the open panel._

_"Got a few more minutes here," Garrus gestured, "Then I was heading to the mess hall."_

_Shepard shook her head. He frowned, "I'm…not heading to the mess hall?"_

_"I had a chat with Quintus," referring to the chef, "He is really very sweet." She leaned against the gun, and looked up at him, "I'm still kinda mad at you for being a Spectre. Your job right now sucks, but I'm going to set that aside and just…thank you…for saving my life. And for holding me together last night."_

_Garrus straightened with surprise, "Thanks aren't necessary, Vaea."_

_"You…like me, right?" Shepard took a step closer, "just a little?"_

_Garrus eyed her warily, "I don't know where you are going with this."_

_She stepped forward again, and he held his hands away from himself, "Careful, I'm really grimy."_

_"Good," she took the final half pace, tiptoed and touching him on the neck with steady fingers before kissing him firmly, "Hrmm. Was thinking about that all day."_

_"Vaea…" Garrus backed her to the gun, and rested his hands on the cold metal either side of her hips._

_"Yes, Garrus?" she looked up at him, her hands tucked into her pockets._

_"What game are you playing?" his voice vibrated with warning._

_"I don't play games," she met his gaze steadily._

_"In the last two days you have gone from hating my guts, to sleeping in my arms and kissing me until I'm dizzy. Forgive me if I'm a little confused."_

_Shepard flicked her eyes down to his chest and sighed, "Garrus, I'm so confused I can barely see straight. I know who you are and what you have to do when this ship gets to its destination, and yet you are the first person in years that I feel completely…safe with. I'm not afraid you are going to cause me pain, and right now, I could do with a friend."_

_His forehead leaned against hers, and he kissed her. She slid her hands out of her pockets and smoothed them first over his abdomen, then up over his chest. His hands stayed planted either side of her, but she felt the tension singing in them._

_"Yes, Vaea, I really like you," he broke the kiss, his breath a little unsteady._

_"Good," she replied emphatically, and pushed him backward, this time gently, "See you in your room. All…non grimy…in thirty."_

_He narrowed his eyes as she left the main battery. He groaned and thudded his forehead against the main gun._

* * *

_There was a knock on his door. He eyed the table that had been set in his quarters with unease. Quintus had found a vase. And stuck something green and leafy in it._

_Garrus activated the sensor to open the door. Vaea strolled in, her hands clasped behind her back. She stared around his quarters with a curious eye._

_"Nice," she finally said, "Roomy."_

_Her gaze rested on the table. And she laughed._

_"What?" Garrus followed her line of sight, and shifted to stand behind her, "What's so funny?"_

_"Celery…"_

_"You are confusing me, Vaea," Garrus grumbled peevishly, his arms folding in front of him._

_Shepard turned to face him and rested her hands upon his folded arms, "Garrus, I'm sometimes going to find some things amusing, and you wont understand it. It will get lost in translation. But I'm not laughing at you. I promise." She lifted a hand to his face. "Tonight…we aren't going to worry about our duty, our lives. We are just going to enjoy each other's company."_

_Hesitantly, Garrus rested his hands on her hips. Shepard stroked a hand over his neck, and he made a soft sound in his throat._

_"Garrus…would you mind terribly if I asked you to make love to me?"_

_"I…uh…" he looked wildly around him, clearly wondering which dimension he had tumbled into._

_"I find myself attracted to you, Garrus. I like you, I'm comfortable with you…" she tiptoed until she was a breath from his lips, "I trust you. I want to feel something more than fear and sadness. So…what do you say?"_

_Garrus was completely lost, the cool, competent Spectre completely undone by his prisoner._

_"I should say it would be inappropriate," he began. Her brow creased in disappointment, "But…" his hands slid around to her lower back and drew her closer, "…I'm not a Spectre right now."_

_Shepard tugged him over to the bed, and toed her boots off, leaving her bare toes to curl in protest against the cold floor. She slid her hands up his chest and up to his neck to tug him down for a hard kiss._

* * *

_Shepard collapsed on Garrus' chest, and his hands splayed over her back. She was gasping for air._

_"Holy hell, Vakarian," she managed after a moment, her cheek resting on her hands._

_"Spirits, Vaea…" he rested a hand on her butt._

_"Five years celibate," she groaned, wiggling her hips._

_"Oh, hells, woman," Garrus muttered, "Don't do that. I need a moment's rest."_

_"How about dinner? Quintus will be hurt if we don't partake of his meal tonight…" Shepard propped herself up on her elbows._

_"I suppose we should," Garrus ran his talons down her thighs, dragging thin lines in her pale flesh. Goosebumps pebbled her skin and her nipples peaked. She quirked a smile and rocked her hips again._

_"Dinner can wait?" she asked innocently._

_"Dinner can wait," he growled._

* * *

_Shepard woke face down on the bed on their final night together, her lithe legs tangled with his. Garrus lay beside her, also face down, his arm across her upper back, their fingers entangled. She breathed slowly, trying to maintain the sound of sleep, but her eyes stared over the room._

_The detritus of their dinner remained on the table. Pain flickered across her face. She was going to betray this good man. She had selfishly wanted these last two nights with him. It made no sense, that it had been this turian who had saved her, but when did it ever? Before she had been put in jail, she had always done the sensible thing. She would regret hurting him so badly._

_Her heart ached once again for being unable to tell her parents…everything. And it hardened once more against the mission she had been planning these last five years. She wriggled a little closer to the warmth of his chest. They were docking on Korlus in a few hours, and she would be gone. As much as she cared for him, she knew he would to do his duty. And she knew she could not allow it._

* * *

_They made love again that morning. Slow, sensual, their breaths mingling, he thrust into her heat with long, strong strokes and drove her to arching off the bed in passion. He devoured her cry with his lips as she came. Unbeknownst, this was her goodbye…to him…and to herself. As he came, he murmured something softly, and tears pricked her eyes when she realised he had said that he loved her._

* * *

_"What…do you mean she isn't on board?" Garrus demanded, his eyes flashing with anger. His hand clenched at his side as the Captain rubbed his brow._

_"Nerrae went with her. She wanted to see something other than the inside of the ship. She took him down and took off,"_

_"What? Is Nerrae…" Garrus snapped._

_"No, no," the Captain held up his taloned hand in interruption, "Aside from embarrassment, Nerrae is unharmed. But Shepard is in the wind."_

_"Hells…" Garrus growled._

_"Didn't you say she was innocent?"_

_"That isn't for me to decide, that is for the courts to decide," Garrus stared out at the morass that was the Rat's Nest in the main city of Korlus._

_"You can't track her?"_

_"I didn't put a tracking device on her."_

_The Captain didn't say anything._

_"Yeah, I know," Garrus growled, "I fucked up."_


	9. Chapter 9

"Holy shit," Jack had her booted feet up on a table in the empty bar and crowed with delight, "You had grab -the-headboard sex! Was it with him? The turian?" Her ringing laughter echoed in the room.

Shepard sat down opposite and shoved Jack's feet off the table, "So what if I did?" She scowled.

"Hell, Shepard, I thought you were completely asexual," Jack was unrelenting, "Instead you were just waiting for the long, hard…"

"Shut up," Shepard snarled, "He's an old…friend."

"Very friendly," Jack drawled delightedly.

"Will you get your mind on the job?" Shepard grumbled.

"Aww, come on, Shep…" Jack's voice trailed off as Garrus appeared, speaking rapidfire into his comm. She resided into a smirk.

"He is going to our safe house here. We will meet him in twenty minutes," he deactivated the omnitool and regarded Jack with curiosity.

"Ms Naught," he nodded formally, "Good morning."

"Archangel," Jack linked her hands behind her head.

"When we get there," Shepard interrupted, "I want you both to stay with the vehicle."

They both turned their heads in surprise.

"Vaea.." Garrus began.

"Shepard…" Jack growled, a frown on her face.

Shepard held up her hand, her eyes fierce, "Garrus, I gave you my word I would talk to Nolan. I'm not lying. Jack, you have always had my back, but I'm not worried about Nolan, I can handle him. I want…need…to face him alone."

"Vaea," Garrus murmured again. Jack glanced at him, her expression troubled.

Shepard stood up, lifted her chin, and repeated, "Alone."

"Alright," Garrus nodded, though wariness still coloured his expression.

* * *

Jack and Garrus leaned against the shuttle and watched Shepard head into the safe house.

"So…like…you and she knew each other a few years ago?"

"Five years. We met when I arrested her," Garrus replied, gruffly.

"Guess that didn't stick," Jack replied after a moment of surprise.

"I was a Spectre. The Council weren't amused that I 'let' a wanted criminal get away."

"I bet. 'Was' a Spectre? They fired you?"

"I took…an extended leave of absence three years ago," Garrus gestured vaguely before folding his arms across his chest.

"You are still a Spectre?" Jack's eyes widened, "Does Shepard know?"

"Yes," Garrus dropped his chin to his chest.

"So where does this..Archangel thing fit in?"

"Something I needed to do,"

"You were looking for her, weren't you?"

"That was part of it, yes," Garrus replied bluntly, "Then I realised that there were people here who needed my help. Just folks who were trying to go about their lives and getting crushed under the bootheel of the merc companies."

"Hell, Vakarian," Jack huffed a laugh, "Aren't you just a knight in shining armour?"

"A knight in….what?" Garrus frowned.

"Never mind, buddy," Jack patted his bicep condescendingly, "In some ways, I guess it's a good thing. In others, like in regards to Shepard, you are gonna come up against what she has to do like it were a brick wall."

"I know," Garrus replied quietly, "Jack…you and I? I think we need to talk."

"Aren't we already?"

"No," he gestured to the shuttle. Jack glanced at the building, and shrugged, sliding into the seat Garrus had indicated before he walked around the vehicle to get in the other side.

* * *

Shepard keyed in the code Garrus had given her and entered the safe house. She lifted up the back of her jacket and pulled the gun from the holster at the base of her spine. She had left behind the weapons that sat in her hip holster as a sign of good faith to Garrus. She just didn't tell him the whole truth. She doubt he would understand the irony. Turians weren't good with irony.

"Archangel? I spoke to those mercs and they are willing to…" Lukas Nolan strolled in from the kitchen, his eyes fixed on his omnitool until he noticed that the figure wasn't his commander, "The hell?" His arms shot up in surrender as he finally noticed the pistol pointed straight at the centre of his chest.

"Who are you?" he demanded, panic causing his voice to tremble, "Where is Archangel?"

"Waiting outside," Shepard's voice was smooth, as she gestured for him to seat himself on the couch in front of the television, "Waiting while you and I have a little chat."

Nolan glanced wildly around as his hand moved slowly to the weapon at his hip.

"Don't," Shepard snapped, "I'm sure you know my name, even if you don't recognise my face - Captain Vaea Shepard."

He went pale and lifted his hands again.

"Using thumb and forefinger, pull your weapon from the holster and set it on the table there."

Nolan did as bid and sat slowly on the couch.

"What do you want with me?" he asked, fear in his face.

"Take a closer look, Nolan. I realise the last twelve years haven't been kind to me."

The light wasn't bright in the apartment, so Shepard slid the switch higher.

Nolan took in the short red hair, the freckles, the scars, the tattoos. He flicked his eyes over the hard lines of her body and face, and remained blank.

"I'm sorry, I don't…" Nolan shrugged helplessly.

"I meant so little that you don't even recall…" Shepard sighed, and perched on the arm of the chair in front of her, "Think back, you traitorous bastard. The Courageous. A new recruit. A little green, very enthused…and a shit load better than you."

Nolan frowned, and his expression cleared before growing horrified, "Aalia Cooper? You are Aalia?"

"No. I'm Shepard now. You were responsible for killing Aalia," Shepard's voice grew harsh, "Do you know what happened to me, Nolan?"

"You were sent to prison," he couldn't meet her eyes, and stared down at his lap, "And the prison was blown up by slavers. I thought at first you were dead."

Shepard's voice was dangerously soft, "I was enslaved, Nolan. I was tortured, implanted with a device that could scramble my brain, and sold to the highest bidder."

Nolan made a soft sound of distress.

"Want to see it? I had the opportunity to remove it a few years ago. But instead, I decided to keep it. As a little reminder of what happened to me," Shepard clicked the safety on her weapon, "…and a little reminder of who did it."

Nolan's eyes washed with tears, and he still refused to look at her. Fear laced his features, "I'm sorry, Aal…" he paused, "Shepard. I'm so sorry."

Shepard laughed and there was no humour in it, "You are sorry? You are SORRY?" She raised the gun and fired a single shot. The sound was almost muffled. Nolan shrieked as the couch to the side of his head gained a hole and stuffing blew out the other side.

"I don't want to hear 'sorry' again, Nolan," Shepard smiled sweetly, "If I do, the next one goes right through your skull."

"You can't do this, Shepard," Nolan stuttered, "Archangel will find you and…"

"Archangel was the one who rescued me from the pirates, Nolan. He is the one who found me and saw what they had done to me, what they had forced me to do," Shepard brushed her forefinger over the trigger, "He knows you were responsible for putting me there."

Nolan buried his face in his hands, and his voice was muffled, "I was so fucking jealous."

"What?" Shepard frowned, "What are you talking about?"

"You. You came on board the Courageous. I had been there a year, and in two weeks, you had proved more adept at the job than I had been. When I learned that Dvoraczek had recommended you for N7, I was so angry. I had been trying to prove to the old man that I was suitable for months. But when you got there, and you were his favourite…."

"Fuck, Nolan, it wasn't a fucking classroom!" Shepard snarled and her hand twitched.

"I know!" Nolan cried, "But then Jenna Kreis got in my head. She whispered and taunted - and when she suggested a way to remove you from the Courageous, I jumped at the chance."

Shepard lapsed into silence as his words tumbled over each other.

"When we found out that the human ambassador had been done for treason, it was almost too easy to set up a trail to link to you. Pile the evidence up so high. Jenna set up a hidden email address and sent all these messages through to the Ambassador. He honestly believed it was you - and at the trial…when he confirmed the receipt of the messages…Jenna was ecstatic. And that datapad, Jenna had loaded it with information about the Alliance. Sensitive information. She replaced the gift you were meant to give the new Ambassador. Then we called in the anonymous tip to C-Sec."

Nolan scrubbed his hands over his face.

"When it was over, and you were imprisoned, it was like…cold reality hit. I realised what I had done and I felt sick. I was sick. I couldn't return to the Courageous. I transferred to another ship…then another and another. I heard that the prison was attacked and you weren't accounted for among the dead. I quit the Alliance. I felt like a fraud. A total fucking cowardly fraud. I had prepared a file that accounted for everything we had done to you, but I couldn't send it."

Shepard made a small sound. When he looked up, he had never seen such anger on someone's face. He rushed on, determined to tell her all.

"That was weak. I have no excuse. But I had to search for you, but my resources were pathetic and Jenna refused to help. I had heard there was a sale of slaves on Erszbat and tried to get there, but I was too late. I was on Omega, out of money and out of hope. When Archangel came here, I decided to try to make amends. I joined with him, and for the last three years I have done what I should have done for you - helped."

"I could blame Jenna for this, for manipulating and demanding vengeance - but reality, without my help, she would never have succeeded," Nolan rubbed his scalp with a broad palm, his still-handsome features grey with fear and sorrow, "I understand …and forgive what you have to do Shepard. I took your life from you. I get it. I deserve it."

Shepard stood. She aimed the gun at him. And lowered it. Her breathing was coming hard and fast. He could see the emotions flickering over her face - rage, sorrow, fear, rage again. He closed his eyes and waited.

The weapon across the room exploded with sound, shots coming rapid fire and loud in the small room. He flinched, waiting for the hit, waiting for the agonising pain. His bladder let go. But death didn't come. He opened his eyes warily. She was standing there, staring at him, her eyes fierce and wild, her breath coming in sharp gasps. All around him, the couch had exploded with holes. She had deliberately missed.

"I don't forgive you, Nolan. I never will, and so help me god, you deserve to die for what you did," her voice was shaking with rage. Voices shouting could be heard from outside, "But not by my hand. You will remain here, you will serve Archangel, you will make atonement by standing up for those here on Omega who can't stand up for themselves. And you will do it until death. If I hear you have left…I will hunt you down without mercy."

"I…understand," Nolan spoke, his voice choked with the tears that streamed down his cheeks.

"SHEPARD!" Garrus roared as he hacked the front door she had locked. Shepard lowered the gun as the door exploded inward with a biotic charge from Jack. The two stumbled into the room.

Garrus strode forward and took in the scene, "You promised, Shepard."

"I said I would talk to him," Shepard's voice was harsh, "But I planned to kill him." She holstered her weapon.

"You lied."

"Yes," she looked at him steadily, "But he is not dead. We reached…an understanding."

Nolan was pale and shaking.

"Vaea…" Garrus reached for her arm, but she jerked back.

"No. I'm leaving Omega, Garrus."

His blue eyes searched her face, "Please, wait. We can sort this, I can help."

"I don't want or need your help, Vakarian," Shepard's eyes were hard, "I never did." She paused. And trembled a moment, "I used you to get to him."

Garrus stilled.

"It's over between us," she continued, "Or rather…it never was." She turned on her heel and stalked out of the room. Past a frowning Jack who glanced from the turian back to her Captain, and back again. She activated her omnitool, "Prep the Monte Cristo, Joker, I will be on board with Jack in fifteen. I want off this fucking station."

"Aye, Cap'n," came the reply.

Shepard left the apartment, and Jack rubbed a hand over her shaved head, "Look, Archangel, she's…"

"I know what she is, Jack," Garrus replied softly, "It's quite alright."

* * *

The Monte Cristo pulled away from dock. Aria glanced at the asari who informed her that Captain Shepard had departed…and apparently no one had been killed. She frowned.

"Ask Archangel to meet with me at his earliest convenience."

"Yes, ma'am," the asari maiden nodded.


	10. Chapter 10

(A/N I'm so sorry I haven't updated! Work got crazy and I found myself so tired I couldn't get creative.)

(A/N edit - It was pointed out to me that I made a really big error a few chapters back when Shepard told Garrus that there had been no one since him. Thankyou for that! It completely slipped my brain when I was writing this. I have rectified the mistakes in both chapters.)

* * *

_"So, my informant tells me that you requested a meet?"_

_"I need a berth off planet," Shepard replied abruptly to the turian seated in one of ten bars in the Rat's Nest of Korlus City, surrounded by a crew that looked like they could handle themselves, "And I heard you had open spaces."_

_He was dark plated, his eyes a dark brown. The markings on his face were intricately white. He linked his three fingered hands and stared at her across the beaten surface of the table._

_"I don't take passengers," his flanged voice was rough, "I am looking for new crew."_

_"I'm not planning on being a passenger," Shepard replied sharply, "I am willing to work."_

_"Oh? And just what is it you can do?"_

_"Whatever you need," she crossed her arms._

_"I need another hired gun. And I need someone who will do what they are fucking told without screwing it up," the turian leaned back on his seat, glancing at the others who flanked him._

_"What does your ship carry?" Shepard frowned._

_"The cargo I take off others," the Captain drawled._

_"You are pirates," she uttered flatly, "Sorry, I think I was given the wrong information. I don't deal with your kind."_

_"The others I refer to /are/ pirates," the Captain flared his mandibles in amusement, "Once in a while we hit a mining vessel to get supplies, but for the most part, those idiots flying around have more than enough."_

_"Isn't that..dangerous?" Shepard frowned warily._

_"Not if I have the right crew," the Captain waved a hand around him, "Ex-military or ex-mercs, every single one of my crew are very well trained and very well paid. So which are you, ex-military or ex-mercenary?"_

_"Ex-pirate," Shepard's voice was flat and saw his eyes open with surprise._

_"I don't deal with your sort either," the turian snapped a reply._

_"Came by way of batarian slavers," Shepard shrugged, staring at the table top,_

_"Why pirates?"_

_The Captain paused thoughtfully, "Some day you will earn the right to ask that question...Ms...?"_

_"Shepard," she rocked back and forth on her toes._

_"Astarus Hathar. Alright. You get one trip, unpaid. You don't fuck it up, and the others agree, you are on board," Captain Hathar nodded._

_"Fair enough."_

_"Welcome aboard the Valkyrie, Ms Shepard. Report to my second in command, Mitchell Doelgar," the turian typed some instructions on his omnitool. Hers flared to life, "There. So our security doesn't try to take you down."_

* * *

_"So…what's your story, Shepard?" the hardened whiskey brown eyes of the dark haired first mate regarded their new recruit with interest. Mitchell Doelgar was a tough bastard. Skipped good-looking when he got three scars bar sinister across his features, but there was a certain rakish charm that kept the crew in line when the Captain went hard line._

_"Is it a prerequisite of my employment that I tell you my story?" Shepard scooped up a mouthful of the stew that the cook had made. The last few days had seen the three new recruits put through paces that were laughably easy for her. The kid from Omega was shot on the first day when he drew on a crew second got a job as their new pilot. With her experience, Shepard was on the bridge as a radar/signal operator. Boring as hell, but she wasn't dead._

_"It is if we are to trust you with a loaded weapon at our back," Doelgar drawled, "We aren't on the raggedy edge of the law for no reason, Shepard. There is a certain amount of trust we should have with each other."_

_Shepard paused thoughtfully, "Fair enough." She took another mouthful of potato and meat._

_"I was imprisoned. Enslaved by batarians. Tortured. Sold. Killed innocents," the deep green eyes regarded the dark brown across the table, "Need references?"_

_Doelgar smiled, but the expression held no humour, clearly cynical of her list of credentials, "Killed your own crew?"_

_"Nope," Shepard chewed thoughtfully, "But they never trusted me to cover their backs." She scooped another spoonful._

_"You planning on shooting us?" the voice was faint, disbelief melding into unease._

_"You planning on hacking my implant to control me?" Shepard rose a pale red brow._

_"Only if you shoot us," Doelgar muttered._

_"Sounds fair," Shepard pursed her lips in an amused rictus, and shrugged, "In the interest of full disclosure, after a few years in prison, I could make a weapon out of a plastic fork."_

_"Cool," Doelgar drawled, "Should be good if we ever attack a diner on the Citadel."_

_"You should see my eggs over easy with a side of bacon," Shepard stabbed a forkful of beef and waved it to punctuated her statement._

_Doelgar's laugh echoed throughout the room._

* * *

_Shepard shot the pirate in the face. There was blood and cartilage that splattered over the wall behind him. She racked the reload, and turning, peppered shot over the next idiot to approach._

_She slammed the butt into the chin of a third, before unloading in his chest. She kicked the legs out of a fourth and blew a hole in her metallic carapace. The remaining pirates put down their weapons and threw up their hands and surrendered._

_Shepard stood breathing hard and started as Doelgar slapped her on the back, "Nice work, rookie."_

_"Fuck you," she grinned at him goodnaturedly._

_"Anytime, Shepard," Doelgar drawled, holding his rifle at the ready over a pirate quavering in fear._

_Shepard watched the unloading of cargo and saw the Captain nod at them to finish up._

_Doelgar yawned, "Righto, time to disappear."_

_Shepard smiled and regarded the four men that knelt before them, "So...how many ships do you think these bastards jacked?" She tucked her shotgun into its holster and withdrew her pistol._

_"Looking at the cargo, maybe...half dozen?" Doelgar ran his fingers over the terminal near him, bringing up the relevant information._

_Shepard squatted in front of one of the pirates. A human too young to be this stupid. Her pistol jammed into the curve of his jaw, and she leaned forward, "How many people did you kill on those ships?"_

_"None! Honest!" the pirate replied, his jaw tense._

_"Oh," Shepard crooned, her soft lips whispered, her breath tracing his hairless jaw, "Don't tell tales." Her pistol was insistent._

_"Fucking shut up, kid," the ravaged voice of another pirate remonstrated the younger man. The companions either side of him were blood splattered and exhausted. Forced to kneel, they eyed Shepard and Doelgar as if they would like nothing better than to kill them both. Shepard's weapon made a small sound as she flicked off the safety._

_"I just went along with them..." tears gathered in the young eyes, "Four, four ships. They...we...killed everyone."_

_"Good boy," Shepard kissed the edge of his mouth and he looked up at Doelgar, appeal for mercy on his pale, sweating face._

_Shepard lengthened her arm and shot the oldest man bearing the tattoos and armour of the Exchange and showed no fear. His face disappeared in a smear of red. The kid howled and bent over his knees. His face grew red with crying. The pistol thundered twice more. Blood oozed in a spreading pool._

_Shepard tucked the tip of her pistol under the kid's chin, "Hush now," her voice was mother soft, "You are getting a chance to change your life, kid."_

_"Shepard..." Doelgar's voice was warning. Green eyes sparked off brown. The brown eyes cast aside._

_Shepard rested her hand on the wall above the kid's head and crowded his space. It might have been sensual, but the gun she still held at the ready, and the fingertips she used to force him to look into her eyes belied the gesture._

_"You have made some very fucked up choices," she spoke bare millimetres above his lips, "Whoever lied to you and said this was a valid life choice should be shot."_

_The kid winced away and closed his eyes._

_"Open your eyes and meet your fate like a fucking man..." Shepard snarled, gentleness snarling into whipcrack hardness in moments._

_His dark eyes flew open._

_Shepard kissed him on the lips, "Run, little rabbit," her voice was very soft, "Run far away."_

_The kid scrambled back, through the pool of blood, coating his hands and legs in its mire and huddled into a corner. Shepard chuckled, and after a moment stood. Doelgar joined her. When they went for the shuttle, he muttered, "What was all that horseshit in aid of, Shepard? We don't kill them..."_

_"They killed four ships worth of innocent crew," Shepard leaned her arm on Doelgar's shoulder, a nonchalant powerplay he allowed, "I call it justice. You seem worried."_

_Doelgar holstered his weapon and frowned sullenly, "Seems too much like vigilante bullshit."_

_Shepard drawled, "It is vigilantism. But it isn't bullshit. Bastards like them turned me into a murderer," she leaned forward and whispered softly. "I'm not keen on them doing that to anyone else."_

_"The Captain..." Doelgar began, shifting uncomfortably._

_"Isn't here," Shepard traced his clenched jaw and smiled sweetly, "And the only way he is going to find out is if you tell him." She stepped forward and crowded his space. He eyed her warily. Her lips hovered over his._

_"You planning on telling him?" a red brow rose in query._

_"Shit..." Doelgar muttered, his eyes flicking to her lips despite himself._

_Shepard smiled and stepped back, "Good."_

* * *

_Shepard racked the shotgun once to check the mechanism and dry fired it. Satisfied it was back together correctly, she put it up on her spot on the weapons rack. She turned and startled as Doelgar eyed her with suspicion._

_"Hells, Mitch," Shepard growled, "You took two years off me."_

_"You scared the fuck out of me today too," his gruff features scowled._

_"You look tough enough to handle it," Shepard crossed her arms and leaning against the bench, she curved her lips in a smirk._

_"Look, the Captain fucking hates pirates and slavers. But he has never killed anyone who surrendered."_

_Shepard eyed him steadily, "Do you think the people of the ships they attacked surrendered?"_

_"I..." he paused. And frowned. "Why didn't you kill the kid?"_

_"Because I was him once,"_

_"What if he was lying?"_

_"Then I will hunt him down," Shepard shrugged, "But if someone had given me the chance I would have been gone."_

_"So you aren't quite the total hardass you pretend to be," Doelgar was mildly amused._

_Shepard straightened and when she walked past him, he caught her arm. Her eyes flashed dangerously._

_"It's a dangerous game you are playing though, Shepard," Doelgar murmured, his expression enigmatic._

_Shepard looked down at the hand curved over her bicep, "Right back at you."_

_He stepped forward so they stood toe to toe. He was only a few inches taller than she, but she was unafraid and met her gaze. Her eyes narrowed, and she leaned forward, her lips slanting over his own. His hand loosened and slid across to splay over her lower back. She curved a hand into the folds of his shirt and yanked him closer._

_After a minute or two, they broke apart. Her eyes were luminous as they regarded him thoughtfully._

_"Fuck, Shepard," Doelgar muttered, scrubbing a hand over his face._

_"Just wanted to test that out," Shepard replied, and stepped back. His arm dropped._

_"Did you come to a conclusion?" he rubbed the back of his neck._

_"Softer than a turian," she smiled, headed out of the armoury without a backward glance._

_"Fuck," he repeated, and adjusted his pants. He paused. Wait? Turian?_

* * *

_The months that followed saw her through the some of the best months of her life. She found a place in the crew, they accepted her, looked to her during boarding. And if she took a few extra risks, killed a few more pirates or slavers than necessary, then it a blind eye was turned, and the Captain pretended he didn't know._

_Shepard eyed the ship through the port side window. It was hulking and grey. Unmarked and unnamed. Slavers. A muscle beneath her eye twitched. Armed and armoured she cut a lean, formidable figure as she stalked through the confines of the ship to the boarding vessel. They would cut across with a team and get through to the bridge and allow the Valkyrie to link up._

_When she boarded the squat craft with the half dozen others, she could feel the touch at her side and flicked a glance over. Doelgar stood, bulky and solid in his battered armour. He was staring resolutely at the display screen, scrolling information about proximity and speed. She murmured softly, "I hope like hell the numbers are right."_

_"Captain's rarely wrong. His tech guy said they were running low crew out of the Traverse. A handful of prisoners bound for the slave markets."_

_"Why does the Captain give a shit?" Shepard frowned._

_"He's paid to," Doelgar clenched his hands around his weapon._

_"Paid...by who?"_

_Doelar glanced at her then, "It's...complicated."_

_Shepard grunted with annoyance, "Thanks for vaguing that up for me."_

_"Look...you know how the Alliance have ops teams that kinda skate the other side of what's all bright, shiny and in front of the cameras?"_

_"Well, sure," Shepard shrugged, "You telling me the Captain is in the pay of the turian hierarchy?"_

_Doelgar's features twitched, "Not..precisely."_

_Shepard elbowed him and he grunted._

_"Look, he will tell you when and if he trusts you. We get the prisoners off, get them down into the hold until we can process them and get them back home. Don't fuck around with this, Shepard."_

_Shepard smiled sweetly, "I never fuck around."_

_"My ass," Doelgar muttered._

_"And a fine one it is," Shepard activated her weapon and cast a grin at him as she slammed her helmet visor into place for the cross to the slaver ship._

_He blushed. Just a little._

* * *

_Shepard slammed into low cover, breathing hard. Someone had fucked up. Bad. This place was teeming with guards, and now they were cut off from the shuttle. They had cut through almost to the bridge, but they had lost two of their men. Doelgar hit the wall beside her and grunted._

_"Shit," he muttered, "This has gone to crap."_

_"Come on," Shepard grinned up at him, her face blood splattered, "You can tell your grandkids you were a superhero who saved hot young women from big bad slavers."_

_"At this rate I won't have kids, let alone grandkids," he yanked her back as a concussion grenade sailed past and exploded several feet away and a blast from a shotgun blew apart her cover._

_"Thanks," Shepard murmured, pressed with her back to his chest as they used the pillar for cover, "There are three of them down there. I'm gonna charge. You keep them down."_

_"Shit, Shepard," Doelgar protested._

_She grinned at him, an internal fire turning her eyes a shimmering emerald. He gripped the back of her neck and yanked her for a hard, fast kiss. After a few surprised seconds, she slapped a hand to his chest and pulled back._

_"Not now, asshole!" she hissed._

_"Take it when I can get it," he drawled._

_Shepard shook her head, "Ready?"_

_"Yes, ma'am," he racked his rifle and lifted it, "Go."_

_The next few seconds were a pulsepounding explosion of light and sound as the corridor filled with violence. Blood streaked the walls as Shepard swung, fired, kicked, fired again. Ducked, rolled, and finally stood gasping for breath in the silence. She glanced back down the corridor._

_"Clear!"_

_The three remaining team members stepped out, rifles raised at the ready._

_"Mitch?" Shepard moved back down the corridor. Her crew stood looking down at the ground. He was slumped back against the hull of the corridor, blood smearing his chest._

_"Shep...ard..." he gasped, his fingers twitching on his gun._

_"Hey," she crouched in front of him, and touched his cheek gently, sadness in her eyes, "Hang on. We are nearly out. Just got one room."_

_Doelgar's fingertips smeared blood over the armour of her wrist, but he was too weak to grip. Shepard wrapped her hand in his._

_"Crazy...woman," he muttered, his eyes half closed and glazing, "I should have kept you...in my bed...this morning."_

_"I should have let you," she smiled sadly and leaned forward and kissed his brow. She smoothed back his hair and he died._

_She stood slowly and swiped a hand across her jaw. She turned to look at the remaining three crew._

_"Let's go," her voice was hard, eyes glittering with rage._

_The crew in the bridge lay dead or dying. Shepard was merciless. She shot the pilot in the back of the head, shoved him from his seat and took control of the ship._

_"Shepard?" one of her team called out to her warily, "We got something interesting."_

_"I'm not really in the mood for 'interesting', Bannon," Shepard replied sharply to the human ex-mercenary._

_"No, seriously," the female turian handed Shepard a datapad. There was footage streaming constantly from a video feed. It was a woman. Unconscious. Heavily tattooed, shaved and pierced. Stunningly beautiful. Shepard frowned._

_"Captive?"_

_"Must be," Nara, the turian, typed into the terminal near her, "The signal is coming from the hold."_

_"Let's get the Valkyrie hooked up," Shepard turned back to her controls, "Then get the captives off."_

_"Yes, ma'am," Nara nodded sharply._

_Jareq, their other surviving squad member, muttered when they were alone, "Will you report to the Captain about Doelgar?"_

_"Yes," Shepard replied bluntly, "I fucked up. I will own responsibility for that one."_

* * *

_"Captain?" Shepard stood before Hathar a few hours later. Her armour was bloodied and rent with damage. She stood stiff and her gaze steady upon his own._

_"What happened to Mitchell?" the Captain asked, his hands linking firmly before him and eyeing her with a sharp gaze. Even with the usual turian stoicism, she could tell he was troubled._

_"We were cut off from the shuttle and decided to make a run straight for the bridge. They were bunked down, and to get them out, I got Mitch to cover me while I charged in. I got them, but not before one of them took him out. I should have waited. Should have made a better plan."_

_"Sit, Shepard," Hathar gestured toward the seat across from him. He poured a drink and set it before her. She stared at it uneasily before picking it up in fingers still stained with dried blood. She sat._

_"How long have you been with us?" he asked softly._

_"Little under a year..." Shepard frowned, trying to recall, "I guess?"_

_"You are respected."_

_"I..suppose."_

_"It wasn't a question," Hathar sat himself down and lifted his own drink up but did not sip, "Mitchell was a good man. He was fair, tough and good with a gun."_

_"He was," Shepard acknowledged, her knuckles whitening on her lap as she clenched a fist. She kept her expression impassive._

_"I know you two were sleeping together. I'm sorry he died on you. So, drink with me in memory of him," Hathar held up his glass and tapped it against hers, "To Mitchell Doelgar."_

_Shepard paused, her hand clenching around the glass, but drank simultaneously and set the half emptied vessel down, "Yeah. Mitch." Her voice was thick for a moment. She cleared her throat._

_"You can ask why I attack pirates and slavers, Shepard," Hathar lowered his own glass and tapped a talon on the edge._

_Shepard glanced up, startled, "Uhh...why...them, sir?"_

_"I was in C-Sec. Went there to ...I don't know...fulfill my service obligation, I suppose. The corruption there...gods. It's no better than Omega, just a little better dressed and with worse music," Hathar stood and walked to the large window that graced his cabin. He pressed the skyview panel and the vast star dotted velvety darkness appeared before them, "I was a bodyguard to the turian councillor. An invisible shape in the background. So invisible they would forget I even existed and conduct business right before me. He was corrupt. He was sending information to slavers, letting them know when new colonies were being set up, prisons being repopulated..." a shrug, "And he was paid stupendous amounts of money."_

_"So..." Shepard frowned, "How did that get you here?"_

_"I got tired of it. I saw the lists of colonists. I saw the news reports. I wanted to talk to someone. I tried. The guy tried to investigate, but...he disappeared out in the Traverse somewhere," Hathar rubbed the back of his neck under the fringe, "So I quit. I got the Valkyrie. And hired on a crew that could be paid for their loyalty, or they actually believed in my crazy idea." His mandibles fluttered thoughtfully, "This was...huh, twenty three years ago. Since then, I have picked up jobs, some legit, some not...and taken down every pirate vessel or slaver I could."_

_"People just aren't that altruistic," Shepard's voice was cynical._

_"Oh, it's made me damn rich," Hathar admitted drily, "Rich enough to retire."_

_"I don't follow."_

_"I'm done. I was weary before Mitchell was killed. He was going to take over from me as the Valkyrie's new captain. You. I want you at the helm now. I know what you went through at their hands. I want to go and ...buy a big house on Palaven and enjoy the sunsets and the illgotten gains."_

_Shepard stood and moved over to stand next to Hathar. He looked down at her, "You are just handing me the Valkyrie?" She was wary, still disbelieving._

_"I want someone out here doing what they can to stop people doing what they did to you," Hathar replied, and gripped her upper arm with his own, "I give you the Valkyrie, but you will find it comes with a hefty price."_

_"I don't have any money," Shepard replied sharply, stepping back, disappointment clouding her vision._

_"I don't want money, foolish literal minded human," Hathar laughed, "And I will leave you enough to keep her going until you can hire on crew, and take down a few pirates. The price I ask, is that you never, ever attack anyone who does not deserve it."_

_Shepard snorted, "You attacked mining ships!"_

_"True," Hathar admitted, "You have heard the phrase 'Do what I say, not what I do'?"_

_Shepard gave a soft laugh._

_"That is the price, Shepard," Hathar held out his hand, "You drop me off on Palaven once we divest ourselves of those poor souls down below, and you take over as the Captain of the Valkyrie."_

_"I want to rename her," Shepard replied suddenly._

_"Your ship, your name. Who should I watch out for?"_

_Shepard gripped his hand firmly, "The Monte Cristo." _


	11. Chapter 11

_Shepard stood in front of the two units that stood in the hold. She touched the one on her left gently. The cold, dead face of her lover slept eternally beneath the frosted glass panel. They were returning his body to his family._

_"I'm sorry, Mitch," she muttered, her farewell awkward on her lips, "I should have been more for you. I just…couldn't y'know? You deserved better. I'm sorry you couldn't get it. Rest well, okay?"_

_She kissed the tip of her fingers and pressed them on the glass. After a moment, she turned to the second unit. It wasn't cold, it was temperature controlled. The woman within had been kept under. With no ID, not information on the database scans from the ship, there was no indication as to who she was._

_Shepard tapped her fingertips thoughtfully on the polished metal. She touched her ear piece._

_"Nara? Jareq?" she contacted her teammates, "Can I get you down in the hold with weapons? I'm gonna wake up Sleeping Beauty."_

_"Sleeping…who?" the turian replied through the comm, her confusion apparent._

_"Human fairytale…never mind, I will explain it another day," Shepard laughed, "Get your asses down here."_

_Nara strolled in before Jareq. Her red markings were bright against the grey of her plates._

_"You sure you wanna do this, Shep?" Nara asked uneasily, "We don't know why she's under. Could be she's a frickin' mass murderer."_

_"That's why you're here," Shepard grinned at the turian with bright green eyes._

_"Ugh," Nara's mandibles fluttered, "You get me cutest assignments."_

_"Shit, Shep," Jareq strolled in, his eyes bright against the almost black of his skin, "This sounds crazy."_

_"You know me," Shepard tapped keys on the control pad on the storage unit._

_"Yeah, you are insane," Jareq grinned at the woman, "Batshit crazy."_

_"Hrmm, true," Shepard agreed easily enough. The seals on the unit hissed with escaped air. The woman's pallor was even more pronounced without the veil of faintly smeared glass. Her tattoos were intricate and a curious contrast of harsh and elegant. The heart rate monitor increased it's pace. The blood pressure spiraled up. Shepard frowned and tapped more keys._

_"Okay, be ready. Administering the antidote," she stepped back. The heart rate hit 150. The blood pressure flushed her features with a deep rush of colour. Shepard turned back to the computer, carefully monitoring the dropping blood pressure._

_Shepard was slammed into a wall by a rush of power. The woman sat up, holding a palm out. The other hand flicked out and Nara and Jareq dangled uselessly near the ceiling. Shepard scrambled to her feet._

_"Hey! WHOA! We aren't who you think we are!"_

_The woman paused, her slightly blearly brown eyes trying to fuzzily focus on Shepard, "Who the fuck are you?"_

_"You were caught by slavers right?" Shepard held up her hands in a gesture of peace._

_"They put me in a fucking box…" the woman snarled, her biotics flaring into life with a blue haze._

_"So why would I let you out?" Shepard took a step forward._

_The woman paused, and her eyes narrowed, "Talk fast."_

_"We took down the slaver ship. You were in the hold. We kept you under for a bit until we could find out who you were - but there is nothing in the system."_

_The woman curved a wicked smile, "Probably because I don't exist. Not official like."_

_"I guess the biotics explain the drugging," Shepard glanced up at Nara and Jareq, now loudly protesting their helpless state._

_"If they hadn't, I would have torn their heads off," her eyes narrowed._

_"I'm Vaea Shepard, first mate of the Valkyrie," Shepard touched her chest, "The turian is Nara, and Jareq is …" she winced as they both hit the ground hard, "…in pain."_

_"The Valkyrie…I have heard of you lot," the biotic flare dulled and finally went out, "I'm Jack."_

_"So you know we take captives back wherever they like," Shepard lowered her hands, and tucked them into the pockets of her combat pants, "Anywhere in particular you want to go?"_

_Jack levered out of the unit and thudded to the floor in thick combat boots. Brown pants tucked into them, and a leather top criss-crossed over the myriad of inked images, "Nowhere to go."_

_Nara was easing the crick out of her spine and limped over, "Hells, woman," she groaned, "With that shit you can throw around, you need to be on our side."_

_"What?" Jack crossed her arms, "You lot looking for crew?"_

_"I am, yeah," Shepard nodded, "The Captain is retiring, and for better or worse, you lot are stuck with me."_

_Nara stared in surprise, "Hells, Shep, you didn't say anything. That's fucking awesome."_

_"Shit!" Jareq slapped her on the back with a broad grin creasing his face, "Cap'n Shepard."_

_Jack watched the reactions to the news with wariness, and it took her a moment, "Tell you what. I will run with you lot for a while, if I like what I see…I'm in."_

_Shepard held out her hand for the other woman to shake, "Welcome aboard."_

_Jack grinned wickedly, the smile lighting up her face, "You might live to regret it, Shepard." She slapped her hand into Shepard's and shook firmly._

_Shepard curved her own smile, "Probably."_

* * *

_The crew saw off their previous Captain in style. The party would go down in history. They had set the poor bastards they had rescued, all aside from Jack, and headed to Palaven to party._

_The Palaven sun was just changing night to dawn, illuminating Shepard and Hathar stretched out side by side on the balcony, drinks in hand, eyeing the harsh landscape. Her eyes was a little critical._

_"Hells, Hathar, you sure about this? The place looks like it couldn't grow a tree, let alone be a nice place to kick back and retire," she rose a brow at him._

_"It's home, Shepard," Hathar replied with a sigh, "And it's good to be here."_

_He glanced over, "There is something I need to tell you, now you are Captain."_

_"Shit," Shepard rested the glass on her belly, and tucked an arm behind her head, "Is this where I get the bad news?"_

_"Maybe. Depends," Hathar shrugged, "You have a backer."_

_"A…what?" Shepard glanced over and frowned._

_"Someone who watches out for the Valkyrie…and will now watch out for the Monte Cristo."_

_Shepard frowned, "I just assumed it was the turian military. Mitch mentioned it once. Said it was complicated."_

_"It is," Hathar nodded._

_"Alright, so uncomplicate it for me," Shepard waved a hand, "Who is it?"_

_Hathar was silent for a while. It took him a moment to reply._

_"He is the Primarch of Palaven," he rubbed a hand over his fringe, "To hold up appearances, he can't be connected with us. But he makes sure that no one looks too closely at you. He knows who you are. I made sure of it."_

_"A Primarch?" Shepard was uneasy, "He was …paying you?"_

_"At first. Then we just became kind of…self sufficient. Now he just makes sure we can work without the turian military blowing us out of the sky."_

_"Guess I had better play nice," Shepard was uneasy, "He knows about me?"_

_"He sure does."_

_"Shit,"_

_"He's a good man, Shepard, I promise. I once saved his son from pirates. He was grateful."_

_"Why should he be grateful to me?"_

_"He knows what we do is…well he knows it is murky waters, but its the only way to keep our skies safe."_

_"Not too happy about this, Hathar," Shepard was still uneasy, "Folks just don't do good shit for no reason."_

_"Sometimes…they do. Someone got you away from the slavers, didn't they?"_

_Shepard lapsed into silence._

_"Maybe," she muttered after a moment. _

_"Don't let it get to you," Hathar patted her shoulder. Shepard punched him on the arm, and he protested, "OW!" _

_"Thank you for this," Shepard said softly, "Really. I thought I was just going to end up as some hired gun before I got shot on some back water planet."_

_"You're welcome. You will do good, Shepard."_


	12. Chapter 12

The Monte Cristo slipped into berth on the Citadel. Shepard slicked another layer of colour on her lips, deepening them to a deep, rich burgundy. She smoothed her hands over the hair that fell to her shoulders in restrained auburn coils. She was dressed in a stupendously expensive ankle length black dress, all silk and shot with silver thread. The threads gathered at the neckline, solidifying into a metal chain that hooked around her neck.  
She strode out on the heels that strapped across her ankles in wicked come hither crosses. Her eyes were kohl rimmed, emphasising the brilliant green.  
Nara stepped onto the bridge as Shepard passed through and whistled loudly, "Sexy!"  
Shepard blew the turian woman a kiss, "You seen Jack?"  
"Just finishing up now," Nara chuckled, "She is gonna open some eyes…"  
Shepard grinned, "That's the plan. They will all be looking at her and not at me."  
Nara flicked her mandibles doubtfully. Scarred, muscled and magnificent was their Captain. If she thought no one would look at her, she was destined to be disappointed. Jack strutted out of the elevator, and Shepard laughed.  
"Holy hell, woman, that's almost indecent," Shepard gestured for Jack to turn. She wore…white. And not very much of it. Her ankle length skirt was narrow and split up to …there. A jewelled belt held it in place. Her breasts were only barely covered by a white halter neck that plunged low in front, crossed again under her breasts and tied at the back. She was still shaved bald, but the makeup she had used made her lips virtually carnivorous and her eyes deep pools of mocking mystery.  
"Damn," Jack pouted, and cocked one hip, barely swaying on her sky high heels, "and here I was going for completely indecent."  
"Come on, wench," Shepard slung a muscular arm around Jack's neck. The biotic wrapped her arm around Shepard's waist in return.  
"What do you think, Nara?" she turned them around to face the speechless turian.  
"Ain't no way they are gonna recognise you, Shepard," came the reply.  
"That's the plan," Shepard flicked Nara a salute.

* * *

The party was in full swing when they strolled in. Their false invitations passed muster. Jareq had worked his magic, hacking the guest list. Eyes were cast their way, immediately dismissing them as no one important but dragged back to get a second look at the sheer force of these two creatures prowling elegantly through the crowd.  
Shepard strolled purposefully up to the host, her confidence a palpable force that cleared their way through the milling crowd. She was flanked by the no lesser form of Jack.  
"Good evening, Ambassador Udina," Shepard held out her hand and surprised the man with a firm handshake, "A lovely party. So many interesting people."  
"Yes," the Ambassador winced and withdrew his hand carefully, "I don't believe I have had the pleasure."  
"No, that you haven't," Shepard smiled brilliantly, staring straight into the dark eyes of the older man, "Vaea Shepard."  
There was a small sound from one of the two men who flanked the Ambassador. Udina frowned in consternation, "I have heard your name before…" The man leaned forward and whispered into his ear. Udina's eyes widened.  
"Captain Shepard?" he eased back imperceptibly. Shepard's grin widened, and Jack chuckled.  
"Oh, so you have heard of me? How lovely!" she drawled, "That saves us so much time."  
"Why are you here?"  
"Why, to mingle. To …walk among the elite of the Citadel, of course," Shepard gestured around her, "And to bring you riches stolen from the coffers of the human colonies."  
Udina paused, "I'm sorry."  
"Goods. Precious metals. Gemstones. Tech…" Shepard plucked two glasses of champagne from a passing tray bourne by a waiter and handed one to Jack, "I'm returning them."  
"I…Captain Shepard, I confess you have thrown me," Udina shook his head, "We have heard your name, of course. The mysterious Captain Shepard who clears shipping lanes of pirates and slavers."  
Shepard smiled, "Then I will call upon you tomorrow to arrange delivery. You seem a little..distracted this evening. Have a lovely evening, Ambassador."  
"Please, stay, enjoy the party…"  
"Oh, I intend to."  
Jack licked her lips purposefully as she eyed the Ambassador. He shifted uneasily and she laughed.  
"Stop playing with the poor man, Jack dear,"  
"You are no fun, Shepard," Jack drained her glass of champagne and handed it to the well dressed, incredibly good looking man standing to the Ambassador's right, "Be a doll, get me a replacement. And when you come back…" she curved a wicked smile, "I do believe we shall dance."  
Shepard laughed, "Be gentle." She strolled away, leaving the Ambassador to stare after her, before turning to speak rapidfire to his aide.  
She headed out to the balcony, and took a breath of cooling air.  
"Stuffy in there, isn't it?"  
Shepard drew in a sharp breath. She knew that voice. Her hands clenched hard upon the railing. She plastered an expression of polite interest on her features to cover the sudden rictus of rage that twisted her features in the darkness.  
"It must be all the hot air," she turned to look upon Jenna Kreis.  
The other woman had changed little, unlike herself. She was still tall, elegant, blonde and beautiful. The years had leant a little polish that the uniform of the Alliance hadn't managed.  
The woman held out a hand, and Shepard forced herself to take it.  
"Jenna Alenko, and you are?"  
"Vaea Shepard," the name was almost like dust in her mouth upon regarding the smiling features of the other woman.  
"Oh my…" Jenna breathed out, "Oh, I know of you!" She smiled brilliantly, "I have heard of the famous Captain Shepard!"  
"Really?" Shepard's voice was dry.  
"Oh yes! Even Kaidan admires what you do, though he would not admit it. Publically, of course he must disapprove. As a Commander, he must uphold the laws of the Systems Alliance, and well…" Jenna flicked her elegant fingers. Shepard had to force herself not to reach out and break one. Then flip her over the balcony to hear the long scream before she died.  
"He must meet you!" Jenna insisted, breaking Shepard's reverie.  
Shepard raised a hand to her brow.  
Jenna was touching her ear, "Kaidan? You won't believe who I'm talking to out on the balcony. Captain Vaea Shepard! I know! Come on out!" She turned to speak to Shepard, and frowned in surprise.

* * *

Shepard strode toward the balcony doors and flung one open. She bumped into a solid form, who glanced down and apologised. She felt the eyes on her face and shortly after the breathy word "Aalia?"  
Shepard didn't respond and touched her hand to her ear, "Jack, I'm out."  
"See you at the doors,"  
"Aye," Shepard acknowledged, and made her way toward the exit, her skirts fluttering around her in a dark nimbus. She cut a stunning figure, and when Jack joined her at the door, neither were aware of how many eyes were upon them.

* * *

"Alenko recognised me," she said to Jack with bitterness interlacing her tone.  
"Well you did just stride in and introduce yourself," confusion flickered across Jack's face.  
Their skyshuttle hurtled toward the skyport where the Monte Cristo sat, sleek and gleaming in it's berth.  
"No. He recognised /me/. Who I was," Shepard slammed a hand into the dashboard, her inattention rocking the shuttle somewhat.  
"Well, you had to figure he might have," Jack shrugged, "I mean, shit. You and he bumped uglies for a few years."  
"I'm not that stupid kid anymore," Shepard snarled.  
"Yeah well, guess there was enough left."  
"Kreis was on the balcony."  
"And you didn't kill her?" Jack rose a dark brow in surprise.  
"I was tempted. But it wasn't the right time or place and she had the link to Kaidan open."  
"Hrmm," Jack slid her hands behind her head and linked them lazily, "What's next, boss?"  
"Meet with the Ambassador and give him his presents," Shepard replied scornfully, "His greedy little eyes lit up. Then, I set the next part in motion."

* * *

Shepard scanned her false ID into the Ambassador's scanner. She was allowed to enter and did so with a smile, once more with Jack at her side. She was dressed in a neat, black tunic, with a weapon now obviously strapped to her thigh.  
"Good morning, Ambassador," Shepard smiled brightly at the man, who was now ensconced in his very familiar environment. He was on home turf and looking to take control of their interaction again.  
Udina gestured toward the seat placed across from the broad expanse of polished wood that was his desk. Shepard ignored him and strolled to the window that looked out over the Presidium. She clasped her hands behind her. Jack stood waiting, her dark eyes flicking around the room in wariness.  
"Such a lovely view," Shepard drawled, "Do join me in admiring it, Ambassador."  
"I'm a busy man, Captain," Udina snapped gruffly. Jack grinned.  
"Oh, not so busy that you would see me walk out of here because you have been rude, taking my cargo with me."  
"That cargo belongs to the Alliance!"  
"No, Ambassador, it belongs to humanity," Shepard's voice was silky, "I am relying on you to ensure it goes where it is meant to."  
He paused. She could hear the waves of irritation from across the room. Then heard him stand and march toward her. She smiled.  
"Fine, what do I have to do to get this cargo off your ship?"  
"It is not on my ship," Shepard replied easily. He made a sound of annoyance.  
"Then where..."  
"I have been doing my job for quite a few years. We have considerable storage facilities. I am willing to give you the location and access to those facilities."  
"This sounds like you want something in return?"  
"Just a small thing," Shepard held up her hand, the thumb and forefinger an inch apart.  
"Somehow I doubt that," Udina growled.  
"Oh, I assure you, that you won't regret it in the slightest."  
"Very well," Udina flicked his fingers.  
You greedy bastard, Shepard thought, and said aloud, "I met up with an acquaintance last night at your party last night. Jenna Alenko. She works in your office, I am led to understand. I want her to direct this handover."  
Udina frowned, "That isn't much of a ..favour."  
"I told you it was a small thing," Shepard shrugged a shoulder.  
"I don't trust you, Captain," Udina growled warily.  
Jack's laughter floated across the room, and Shepard chuckled as well, "Your choice, Udina. Alenko, or I walk away."  
"Fine," Udina turned to an aide, "Find Mrs Alenko and ask her to meet with me now."  
The aide bowed his head, and strode quickly away.  
"I think we are done here," Shepard stepped back from the windows and strolled through the thick carpet toward Jack.  
"How will this work?" Udina hurried to keep up.  
"Have Mrs Alenko come to the Monte Cristo in an hour," Shepard flicked her fingers in a mocking echo of his own gesture.  
Jack fell into step beside her as they exited the Embassy.  
"Are things ready?" Shepard asked in a low tone.  
"Jareq just sent word. It's on your mark," Jack nodded, "This is a particularly nasty piece of work, Shep."  
"I know," Shepard grinned, "I got some stuff to take care of. See you back at the Monte Cristo."  
"Aye aye," Jack strolled off with that loose hipswinging gait that drew the eyes of those who moved past her.

* * *

The residential wards were peaceful in comparison with the bright neon of the recreational wards. The neon gave way to muted light that calmed the senses. It was quieter here, though above the skies were constantly thick with traffic. She strolled through the tree lined avenues, remembering where she had hung out with friends. Bruised her knee when she fell off that wall. hid from her mother there when she was in trouble.  
She came to the memorial wall. A VI activated at her approach, and she spoke the names of her parents softly. Their images hung in the air in holographic stillness, the dates of birth and death scrolling beneath their features. Shepard sighed. So much had gone from her life. Her parents. Kaidan. Her career. N7. Garrus. The last caused her pause. But she tamped down on the sudden flash of pain in her chest.  
Shepard deactivated the VI. It did not do to dwell. This was her goodbye. She turned to depart the small memorial and paused when she saw the figure seated on a bench, watching her. When he saw her pause, he stood.  
"Kaidan," she greeted him, without much warmth.  
"Aalia," Kaidan's expression was one of stunned amazement, "I thought you were dead."  
"I am," Shepard replied smoothly, "I died the day I was sent to prison."  
He winced, his cheeks flushing, "Hells, Aalia..."  
"I will thank you NOT to call me that," Shepard uttered smoothly.  
"Vaea Shepard..." Kaidan shook his head, "I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say."  
"No, you don't, do you, Kaidan?" Shepard tilted her head, her expression mocking.  
"I...what?" confusion flickered in his eyes.  
"You. Not knowing what to say," Shepard smiled pleasantly, though her eyes were hard chips of ice, "You certainly proved that when you didn't defend my innocence." She stepped forward and crowded his space, and the smile fell, "You bastard. You chose not to stand beside me. You slunk off, all worried about your career. And here it was, the woman you would marry...destroying mine." She gave a harsh laugh.  
"What...wait! What about Jenna?"  
"How long did you wait until you two started fucking one another?" Shepard pushed his chest and he fell back a step.  
"Stop! Give me a moment here..." Kaidan protested.  
"You weak, spineless worm," Shepard hissed, "She destroyed me so she could have you back. And you went right along with it. You stood back and let her send me to jail."  
"That's a lie. Jenna would never do that!"  
Shepard laughed and the sound was hollow, "You stupid man. You stupid, foolish man."  
"Jenna and I ...we dated only briefly. Long before you and I met. Our parting was...well it was amicable," Kaidan tumbled the words out.  
"Your Jenna is a little more...competitive than you thought," Shepard hissed, "She didn't want you anymore. But when she found out that it was I who was with you, she roped in an equally pathetic, stupid bastard to help her destroy my life."  
"I don't understand," Kaidan was pale, the evidence smashing in a messy pile over his head, "She was so kind. Understanding. We fell in love..."  
Shepard clenched her hands until the knuckles went white. She drew back a fist and slammed it hard into his jaw. His eyes rolled back and he dropped.  
She squatted beside him and waited until the brief moment of unconsciousness ended. She wrapped a fist into his tunic and hauled his face close to hers.  
"Tell anyone, including your bitch of a wife who I really am... I will end you, the way you helped to end me," she shoved him back and stepped over his prone body. She strode out of the place where she had spent the only peaceful years of her life. It seemed like a desecration that she had marred the memories with violence. But then, that was who she was now. Oddly fitting in a way.  
She didn't see the bright blue eyes watching her from the mezzanine floor above them.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N - I'm so sorry. It's been the month from hell. I tore my rotator cuff this weekend and trying to type with one hand is ...proving difficult. *heart* for your patience!

* * *

Shepard put the finishing touches on her appearance. She stared at her hollow eyed expression in the mirror and rubbed the back of her neck. The dark kohl did little to hide the weariness. She had not slept well since leaving Omega…since leaving Garrus again. She wore a simple black tunic over tight pants tucked into solid black boots and it only emphasised her pallor.

"Shepard?" Nara's voice came through the com, "Jenna Alenko is requesting permission to come aboard."

"Granted," Shepard replied bleakly, "Get her to the conference room. I will be there momentarily. Is the terminal set up?"

"Yes, Captain," a pause, "Are you alright?"

"Just fine," Shepard snapped. And sighed, calming her tone, "Sorry. I'm fine, Nara."

Shepard strode from her quarters and met Jack on the way, "Come on, let's see if we can set this bitch up. Word came through from the Primarch?"

"Yep, all clear," Jack nodded, her hands tucked into the voluminous pockets of her brown pants.

"Good," Shepard stared at the door leading to the conference room, "Remind me why it is I can't just shoot her?"

"Too fast," Jack drawled.

"Right," Shepard nodded, "Okay. You know what to do."

Jack grinned, "On your mark, Shep."

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck and activated the sensor to open the door. She strode within and regarded Jenna with what seemed to be calm assurance, "Mrs Alenko." She closed the door.

"Oh, Captain Shepard," Jenna approached with a smile on her lovely face. Shepard paused a moment before shaking the outstretched hand, "Thank you for this opportunity. When the Ambassador said you had requested my presence, I confess, I was quite excited to get the opportunity to see the inside of the Monte Cristo. It's quite…lovely." She looked around at the tidily appointed room with its leather chairs. The expensive tech in particular drew her eye.

"I suppose you could say that my version of piracy still pays quite well," Shepard gave a tight smile.

"Oh, of course," Jenna smiled widely in return, her pale blonde perfection reflected in the mirror that all but covered one wall.

Shepard moved to the terminal in the room, "The location of the warehouse is on Invictus."

"A turian planet?" Jenna wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"A secure planet that doesn't look too closely at the ships landing there," Shepard smiled thinly, "Now…the location of the warehouse…" Shepard brought up the relevant files. She could sense Jenna moving behind her and paused.

"Sorry, Mrs Alenko, but the other warehouse locations are secure. If you could step back?" Shepard frowned seriously.

Jenna's mouth twitched in a moue of irritation, but she covered it swiftly with a smile, "Of course. My apologies."

"SHEPARD?!" Nara's image came up on the vidcom. She glanced aside, "Jack has got into a fight with Jareq again!"

"Shit," Shepard snarled.

The camera shifted to the tattooed biotic slamming the dark-skinned soldier against the wall. He was swearing a blue fit and she was cursing him with every foul word in her considerable vocabulary.

"Fine, I will be right down. Mrs Alenko, my apologies, I will be right back," Shepard stood up and hurried from the room, leaving the terminal running.

Jenna called after her, "Do not concern yourself. I will be right here."

* * *

Shepard stepped into the small room connected to the conference room. Jack stood with her arms crossed and lips curved in a smile.

"You read it right, Shep," Jack drawled, "You were barely out of the room before she sat her skinny ass on that chair and scanned it with her omnitool. Pretty sure she has all that information."

"Nice to see some things haven't changed," Shepard's face was grim.

"You seem almost disappointed?" Jack frowned at looked at the Captain.

Shepard shrugged, "No, she's walking right into it." She yanked aside the fastenings on her tunic, revealing the white tank she wore underneath. She ran her hands through her hair, messing up the previously tidy strands. She swiped a hand across the kohl on her right eye. It smeared effectively.

"Nice look, boss," Jack laughed.

"Yeah well, you got thrown in the brig for doing it to me."

"I'm such a bitch."

"That you are," Shepard waited a few more moments, and watched Jenna get up out of the chair and move to regard her reflection. Shepard stepped up so they stood barely a foot apart. Her expression grew angry.

"Gods, I hate her," Shepard snarled softly, "Under that pretty face is a wormy, nasty little soul."

"If she is still corrupt, she will try for all the warehouses," Jack stood just behind Shepard, her hand coming to rest on Shepard's shoulder.

"Such a shame that those warehouses aren't ours," Shepard's hands fisted white, "I had best go play nice and apologise for the rowdiness of my crew."

* * *

Shepard gave shore leave to the entire crew. She wanted down time without the eyes of others. With her booted feet up on the table in the crew lounge and a bottle of beer in hand, she let the music from the stereo wash over her. The sound of the security hail caused a flicker of irritation to crease her features.

"Captain Shepard," the ship's VI announced flatly, "There is a Spectre requesting permission to enter the ship."

Shepard clunked the beer onto the low table and sprang up, "Shit. Lock down the hold and be ready to wipe the local server."

"Yes, Captain."

Shepard strode out to the bridge and slammed a hand down on the entryway sensor. The first sentence from her lips was a protest:

"Don't the Spectres have anything better to do than…" she paused, and anger stiffened her shoulders, "Garrus."

"Vaea," the turian stood with his arms folded, regarding her with steady intensity.

"I see you decided to give up the merc lifestyle," she turned and walked back into the bridge, her eyes a snapping green.

"It was time," he followed her, and glanced around him with interest, "I thought you would have told me to go to hell by now."

"There is still time," Shepard snapped, and turned to face him abruptly, "Why are you here, Vakarian? I thought we sorted matters on Omega. I didn't kill your man. I kept my end of the deal."

Garrus stopped a little closer than she was comfortable with and stared down at her, the dark blue of his armour a rigid barrier between them, "I came to stop you making another mistake."

"Garrus…" Shepard took a step back, and he reached out to pause her retreat. She stared down at the hand on her arm, the hand that had touched her with such reverence.

"If you do this, you will unbalance human relations with the Citadel Council for generations. The last Ambassador was found to be corrupt, if the taint goes through the office once again, it may well be centuries before humanity gets a chance again."

"Why should I care?" Shepard's eyes were hard upon his, and she pulled her arm from his grasp.

"Jenna Alenko has had a stellar record, Vaea," Garrus said softly, "She hurt you so very badly and for a pathetic reason. She deserves jail. Hell, she deserves worse. But can you do that to humanity?"

Shepard's hands clenched and she went red with anger, "You would lay that on my shoulders? The Alliance turned their back on me, and you want /me/ to …what? Do them a favour? Stop Jenna Kreis from doing what I know she is going to do?"

Garrus frowned, "What…is she going to do?"

"If she is as …stellar as you say, she wont do a damn thing. She will calmly hand over the cargo I'm returning to the Alliance," Shepard crossed her arms, "If she is corrupt, she will go after the so-called warehouses whose co-ordinates she stole from my ship's on board computer."

Garrus rubbed his brow with a hand and swiped his palm over his face, "Spirits, Shepard. You are playing a dangerous game. Whose warehouses did you reveal?"

"The Primarch of Palaven was kind enough to give the location of warehouses belonging to the Turian Hierarchy."

Garrus' eyes flashed dangerously, and he gripped her shoulders with both hands, "You involved the Primarchy in this?"

Shepard snorted, "You are behind the times, Vakarian. The Primarch has been involved from the start."

"You involved my father…" his voice growled, the harmonics rippling with anger.

"He involved himself," Shepard snarled back, twisting to jerk out of his grasp, "If Jenna takes the bait, she will be walking into turian hands. So you see, Garrus? I'm not fucking well going to kill the wench, even if she deserved it. She is going to do it to herself: arrested and charged."

Garrus released her shoulders and cupped her face in both of his hands and stared into her violent green eyes. Her hair sprang in wild waves around her face, "What if she doesn't go to the warehouse herself, Vaea?" His voice gentled.

"She won't resist, Garrus," Shepard reached up and wrapped a hand around his armoured wrist, "Stealing from the famous Vaea Shepard? There is no way she will resist."

Garrus' fingertips slid through her hair, "Stop this. Let me investigate. Let me do this quietly."

"No," Shepard's voice was less sure, but her voice hardened, "No."

"Please," Garrus pressed his brow to hers, his voice a calming rumble.

Shepard frowned, splayed her hands on his chest and shoved. He took a step backward and blinked in consternation at the raw fury on her face. "You bastard," she growled, "What? You thought if you came in here and used that voice on me, caressed me…used my feelings for you…I would just capitulate? I would just put aside what I spent years planning?"

"Shepard," Garrus growled in frustration, "That wasn't what I was doing! I don't want you to do this because I love you, damnit. The work you do, those pirates? The slavers? That is good work. While it is outside the law…it is still good work." His expression grew fierce, "You didn't kill Nolan. You knew it was wrong. In your heart, you knew it." He regained the ground she had put between them, "And you knew when you saw Kaidan Alenko today and told him about his wife that their marriage will be over."

"You followed me?" Shepard's voice was thick.

"Of course I followed you!" Garrus snapped, "Why do you think I am here? It's not because I love being back on the Citadel." Despite his frustration and anger, he gently clasped her upper arms again.

Shepard clenched her hand and laid it on his chest.

"Let me help," Garrus pulled her forward and pressed a kiss on her brow, "Let me do this the right way. So that humanity does not suffer for the corruption of one woman."

Shepard closed her eyes and the breath she drew was shaky.

"For once in your life, Vaea Shepard, let someone bear the burden," his long arms wrapped around her, "I love you, you damnably frustrating woman."

"I…" Shepard rested her forehead on the cool plates of his armour.

"It's alright," Garrus visibly tamped down on the disappointment that coloured his voice at her hesitation, "I'm asking for nothing other than your trust."

* * *

Shepard woke during the night, a cry upon her lips and sweat upon her brow as a frequent nightmare invaded her sleep. Tears streaked her face, vulnerability in every line of her face. She started as a hand slid up her back.

"Vaea?" she heard Garrus murmur sleepily, "Are you alright?"

He had stayed. They did not make love, but she had fallen asleep in his arms.

"Fine," Shepard scrubbed her hands over her face, "I'm fine."

"Come here," she felt him lever up and draw her back against him. She could feel the solid plates covering the leathery warmth of his skin as his arms wrapped around her. She felt his lips press to the top of her head. "A nightmare?"

"An old one," Shepard admitted, resting her head back on his shoulder and closing her eyes again.

"Tell me about it."

Shepard breathed slowly for a while, and he didn't think she would say anything. He almost started when she did, "I was still on the pirate ship. I was trapped. I was in pain. You never came." Her voice was laced with the pain and desperation of that time.

Garrus traced his palm over her head and down her back.

"You never came," she repeated, this time her voice was trembling.

"I did. You are safe. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are safe," Garrus kept up the rhythmic stroking, "I came to get you. I will always come to get you." His voice rumbled in his chest.

"I know…" Shepard murmured. He could feel her relaxing against him, "I know you will."

Her body went limp with sleep and he stayed awake for the rest of the night.

* * *

"Hey, Shep?" Jack hailed the Captain's cabin over the comm, "Uhh, is it safe to come in?"

Shepard snorted awake, a little inelegantly. Her pillow was ridiculously uncomfortable, and she lifted her head to look into tired blue eyes.

"Hey," she murmured, and frowned, "Wait…" She jerked up, "Shit, what time is it?"

"0600," Garrus replied.

"Shit," Shepard scrambled out of bed, "Put your tunic on…" She tossed the article of clothing toward him before activating the comm.

"Uhh, I will meet you in the conference room, Jack. I'm just…" her voice went muffled as she yanked a tunic over her head.

"Boomer has cooked up a mess of turian slop as well," Jack replied airily, "If Vakarian was staying for breakfast."

Green eyes met amused blue. "Shut up," Shepard muttered, and aloud, "One smirk out of you, Jack, and I swear I will airlock you."

* * *

Shepard toyed with her meal, and Garrus slowly chewed through his. Jack glanced between them, booted feet up on the chair next to her. She glanced at Nara and Jareq and shrugged.

"So…" Jack began, and paused when Shepard glanced at her sharply. She forged ahead, "What now?"

Shepard dropped the fork back onto the plate and scrubbed her hands over her face. She looked at Garrus, who regarded her silently.

"We scrub it," she muttered, "Spectre Vakarian is going to investigate and present evidence to the Systems Alliance."

Jareq straightened in his chair, Nara and Jack shared another glance.

"You sure, Shep?" Jack asked warily.

"Yeah," Shepard rubbed her brow, "I'm sorry. I lead you all here on this stupid course of action."

"Captain Shepard?" the VI interrupted their discussion, "Admiral Dvoraczek of the Systems Alliance is requesting a meeting with Aalia Cooper."

Shepard leapt to her feet, and she stared at Garrus wildly, "What the hell did you do?"

Garrus rose at a slower pace, "Lukas Nolan handed over the file with the evidence he had compiled. I gave a copy of the file to the Admiral last night."

"You should have told me," Shepard growled angrily.

"You were innocent, Shepard," Jack interrupted. Shepard rounded on her, but Jack interrupted before she could speak, standing up, "You are our Captain, and we would have followed you anywhere. But I gotta speak out now. If you have a chance…any chance to clear your name, you gotta take it. Too many folks outside the circle know who you are now. It will only be a matter of time before the Alliance caught up with you."

Shepard snapped her mouth shut, and looked to each of her crew, "You all feel the same? This might be the end of it. I might still be arrested…"

"Hells, Shepard," Nara shrugged, "You gave us a home here. You gave us a purpose. We wont be letting it go easy."

Jareq just grinned and shrugged, "I don't give a shit what your name was. You're Captain Shepard. All I need to know."

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck.

"Alright, Nara, you and Jareq get word to Primarch Vakarian. His son will wrap up the case against Jenna Kreis," she regarded Garrus steadily. He nodded his assent. "Jack?" she turned her gaze toward her old friend, "I need information to get through to Jenna that will slow down the op."

"I got just the thing," Jack flipped a salute, and as she walked past, she gripped Shepard hard on the arm and gave a secretive glance toward Garrus. He nodded. Shepard took a deep breath and activated the comm link with the VI.

"Admiral Dvoraczek is cleared to enter," she instructed. She reached out and clasped Garrus' hand tightly, releasing it only when the Admiral was shown into the conference room.

"Holy hells," the Admiral muttered, shaking his head, "So it's true. You are alive."

"Admiral," Shepard automatically whipped up a salute, and sheepishly lowered her arm.

Dvoraczek walked forward, ignoring Garrus and stood before the young woman he had witnessed, despite his best efforts, go to jail, "You have been through a lot, Lieutenant Cooper."

"Vaea Shepard now, sir," Shepard shook her head, "It's complicated."

"Once Spectre Vakarian obtains the confession from Mrs Alenko, and he will, Aalia Cooper's name will be cleared of all wrong doing," Dvoraczek wrapped a massive hand around her upper arm and squeezed, "It is too little, too late, but you will be declared innocent."

Shepard did not trust herself to speak for a moment. She felt Garrus' presence behind her and took strength from it, "Thankyou, sir."

"We have a lot to discuss, Captain Shepard," the Admiral smiled, "You have been a busy woman in recent months. Perhaps coffee?"

"Of course, sir," Shepard nodded.

Garrus stepped forward, "I will give Boomer the order on the way through. I have work to do."

"Thank you, Spectre Vakarian," Shepard murmured and took the seat across from the Admiral.

* * *

Shepard stood on the bridge. She rubbed the back of her neck. Jack joined her and nudged her with an elbow. Shepard glanced at her and gave a shaky smile.

"So…you're gonna be legit?" Jack asked easily.

"It would seem," Shepard traced her fingertips over the nav console absently.

"Vakarian will come through, y'know?" Jack leaned her butt against the console, breaking Shepard's reverie.

"Yeah, he has made a habit of that," Shepard nodded in agreement.

"Shep?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you gonna do?"

"I…don't know. The Admiral had some ideas…but …" she rubbed her furrowed brow.

"Like what?"

"Heard of the Corsairs?"

"Nope?" Jack frowned.

"Guess you guys have a choice to make. That's the… 'but'."

"Not sure I'm following."

Shepard scrubbed a hand over her tired features, "The Admiral wants me back onboard with the Systems Alliance. As a Corsair. I keep the ship, I have a bit of autonomy, but ultimately answer to the Alliance."

"You know me, Shep," Jack shrugged, "You're the Captain. I will just follow orders."

Shepard laughed then, a sound with a little humour in it, and rubbed her hand affectionately over the shaved head, "You never just follow orders, but I love you too, Jack."

"Don't get mushy on me," Jack whacked Shepard on the gut, causing her to wince, "And tell it to that turian who is madly in love with you."

"Maybe…" Shepard rubbed her belly, and regarded Jack with sudden unease.

"Look, Shep," Jack laid her hands on her friend's shoulders and gave her a little shake, "You have been through a lot. A shit load more than most. But that man? He's so nuts in love with you he followed you from Omega to the Citadel. He despises this place. But he came here for you."

"You know an awful lot for someone who has only known him for a few days," Shepard scowled.

Another shake, "He and I had a little chat. He convinced me of his sincerity. Once in a while there are good folks in the world. He's one of them."

Shepard sighed and changed the subject, "What about Jenna Kreis? Did you get through?"

"Yep," Jack nodded, "All good. She's gonna be sifting through some screwy info. Should give Vakarian enough time to bring her in for an interview."

"I still wished I could have done something really…painful to her," Shepard grumbled.

"She will be going to prison for a really long time, Shep. Maybe something with hard labour. Will be hard to maintain that pretty manicure busting rocks," Jack shrugged, "And you don't become a real criminal."

"Yeah," Shepard nodded, "I will have to be satisfied with that." She bowed her head.


	14. Chapter 14

_Jack rested a booted foot on the back of the chair in front of her. She linked her fingers and rested them on her heavily tattooed belly._

_"So, you are the one who wanted to talk," she drawled, leaning her head back._

_"I'm thinking on the best place to start," Garrus fidgeted awkwardly._

_"What? Mister Smooth doesn't know what to say? I thought all you Spectres were the best and brightest the galaxy has to offer."_

_"No, Miss Naught," Garrus replied drily, "We are just the ones willing to do what others will not."_

_"So's Shepard," Jack replied._

_"She is operating outside the law," Garrus replied sharply._

_"She wont trust the law after it fucked her over last time," Jack shrugged._

_"She was set up. The evidence was overwhelming."_

_"She was innocent," Jack replied flatly, "And no one, not even her charming fiance believed her. He didn't wait for her. Maybe …a year or two later he was getting himself hitched to someone else. The rat bastard."_

_"I know," Garrus growled low, "I'm not saying that what happened to her was right, but it doesn't give her the right to run around the Traverse blowing ships out of the sky."_

_"Oh, sometimes we don't blow them out of the sky," Jack smiled sweetly, "Sometimes we strip them of their cargo, capture the crew and take them to whatever planet they fucked over and let them face justice."_

_"You have all killed people! You can't just run around playing vigilante,"_

_"Aren't you doesn't just that here on Omega?" Jack asked flatly._

_"That's…different," Garrus said lamely._

_"Fuck you, Spectre," Jack opened the door of the shuttle. Garrus reached over and folded his hand around her arm. The hard muscle flexed under his touch and she turned around, her biotics flaring._

_"I'm sorry," he shook his head, "That was an asshole thing to say."_

_"You are kind of an asshole," Jack plucked his hand off her arm and dropped it._

_"She needs help. I know she plans to go to the Citadel, Jack," Garrus insisted._

_"She doesn't need /your/ help," Jack snapped back._

_"What she plans on doing to Jenna Kreis, that isn't justice, Jack,"_

_"That bitch put her in jail," Jack growled, "She needs to pay."_

_"Taking down pirates and slavers is one thing, Jack," Garrus' blue eyes were hard on hers, "They hurt and destroy lives again and again. Jenna Kreis…"_

_"Hurt and destroyed who Shepard was," Jack frowned, annoyance lacing her lovely features._

_"How did you two meet?" Garrus asked abruptly._

_Thrown, Jack took a moment to reply, "She…uh…hit a slaver ship. I was on board. These pricks had me in a drug coma…"_

_"Why?" Garrus frowned._

_Jack laughed, "I could have taken them down with my biotics in seconds. Some fuckers wanted my neck on a block, and paid a lot to get them to take me down. They shot me full of enough sedative to take down an elephant, and kept me on it for days. Shepard took the ship and freed me," Jack shrugged, "I decided playing pirate was to my liking and she was doing something I heartily approved of."_

_"What would have happened to you?"_

_"Uhhh, probably be dead," Jack shrugged, "I killed a couple of people I shouldn't have. They deserved it, but when the Captain found out his lover was paste on the ceiling of some facility, he got a little shitty._

_"If Kreis and Nolan hadn't done what they did, you would be dead,"_

_"What? Now you are going all psycho-babble bullshit on me?" Jack scoffed, "That's just weak, Spectre."_

_"Shepard is who she is," Garrus shook his head, "But she can't murder those two people. Nolan is making restitution for his crimes."_

_"What about Kreis? Is she rescuing little orphan children or something?"_

_"No," Garrus was blunt, "She married Alenko and left the Alliance to serve in the office of the Ambassador."_

_"So she has the life Shepard would have had," Jack gestured widely, "I think it's well and truly within her rights to kill the bitch, don't you?"_

_"There are other ways, Jack!" Garrus growled, "Other ways that wont leave her held by C-Sec and this time going away for murder. Now she wont be innocent. They might turn aside her destruction of pirates and slavers…but a woman in the office of the Ambassador?"_

_Jack paused for a moment, "What if she wont be captured? What if…"_

_"What if she is captured?" Garrus insisted, "Do you think she could survive in a cell again? This time no one will be able to help her."_

_"I don't…" she paused again._

_"Let me help her, Jack,"_

_"I won't go behind her back," Jack shook her head uneasily, "I owe her my life."_

_"You won't have to. Just…try to keep her from killing Kreis until I can be there."_

_"What the hell are you going to do?"_

_"Return to work," Garrus replied enigmatically._

_Jack frowned at him curiously._

_The sound of shots coming from the apartment, had them both out of the shuttle and running. The door was locked, not responding to Garrus' codes. Jack powered up her biotics, "Get out of the way, Spectre."_


	15. Chapter 15

A/N - Thankyou for all the lovely feedback for this story. It really helped me keep going when my brain was struggling with sickness and stress! I hope you enjoyed the story. Not sure what is going to come next, but I hope you come along for the ride.

A/N II - One last sexytime, just because it was requested!

* * *

It was done so quietly, the Westerlund News Network never even got wind. Jenna Alenko was quietly arrested, deported back to Earth and swiftly trialed in a closed court.

There was a public announcement that Lieutenant Aalia Cooper was cleared of all charges.

Captain Vaea Shepard politely refused the offer of a position within the Systems Alliance, much to the relief of her multi-species crew. And when Kaidan Alenko tried to see her again, she refused, the message delivered by Jack in her inimitable way.

Garrus Vakarian officially handed in his resignation as Spectre to the protests of the Council. And when he sent a message to Shepard to ask if she would join him at his old apartment, she replied in the affirmative. Jack gave a hoot and bought her black lingerie with some slink to it.

* * *

Shepard made her way to the apartment at the appointed hour, with nerves oddly coiling in her gut.

Garrus was waiting for her at the front door. He wore a casual tunic that looked as though it had seen better days; faded and soft to the touch. She stared at him wordlessly. He held out a hand and his voice soft in greeting, "Vaea..." She gave a quirk of a smile and slid her fingers into his own.

He tugged her into his arms and kissed her thoroughly. Her face was flushed when they separated. Her hand rested on his chest and knew he was not unaffected as his heart thudded rapidly.

"I heard that you had handed in your notice," Shepard spoke quietly.

"It seemed appropriate," Garrus drew her into the apartment. It was quite bare, only a few items of furniture.

"You are returning to Omega?" she asked awkwardly.

"Perhaps," they stood in the sitting room, bare but for a wellworn couch. Garrus held her hand tightly.

"I am leaving the Citadel tomorrow," Shepard admitted, staring down at their linked fingers.

"You refused the Admiral's offer?"

"I owe my allegience to none but myself," Shepard glanced up at him, a small smile curving her lips, "and my crew. And I suppose, your father."

"Ahh yes," Garrus brushed the back of his knuckles over her cheek, "My father."

Shepard reached up with her free hand and touched his wrist gently, "I will miss you."

The pads of his fingertips splayed over her jaw and slid up into her hair. He leaned forward and kissed her gently.

"And I you," Garrus replied after a moment, his gaze affixed on hers.

Shepard traced his jaw with gentle fingers, "You can stop protecting me now. It is done."

Garrus' mandibles flicked against her touch. He drew her into an embrace again, and his voice was a low rumble, "I will always protect you, Vaea."

"I don't need it anymore," Shepard's voice was soft.

"No, you don't," Garrus murmured, his hands sliding over the long lines of her spine, "But I cannot help but hope that one day you will want it."

Shepard frowned, "I don't know that I understand."

Garrus kissed her gently, before explaining, "I hope that you will want me, Vaea. As I have asked of you, perhaps you will want me enough to ask me to stay with you."

"Tonight? Of course…" Shepard was confused, "That's why…"

"No, Vaea," Garrus cupped her cheek and regarded her intently, "Not just tonight. Always."

Shepard's eyes met his own with a flicker of panic in their depths, "I…don't…"

Garrus took a slow breath, and nodded, "I will be satisfied with tonight."

Shepard leaned forward and kissed him. Hard. Her hands slid over his chest and up to his neck to link there and hold him close. He picked her up, one arm beneath the crook of her knees, the other across her back and strode toward the bedroom. He laid her reverently on the tidily made bed.

"I do love you, Garrus," Shepard bracketed his face with her soft palms, she kissed him before he could lever himself away and divest of his clothing, "You know that, right?"

Garrus smiled, "Yes, my love, I know that."

Shepard hid her flushed face for a moment as she yanked her tunic over her head and tossed it on the floor. She pulled off her boots and wriggled from her pants, revealing the silk lingerie she had donned for the occasion. His hands paused in undoing the clasp of his pants at his hips and he made an appreciative rumble in his chest.

When Garrus joined her on the bed, his chest to her side, he stroked the skin of her neck with a reverent finger before skimming down to swirl the talon around her areolae. It peaked instantly, pressing against the black fabric. Shepard made a small sound in the back of her throat and squirmed a little. She bit her lower lip.

Garrus smoothed his fingers over the curve of her waist, the arch of her hip, catching the side string of her panties and slid them down to her knee. The scrap of black silk was tossed to the floor and skimming talons up the smooth skin of her calf, he tugged her knee toward him, against his hip and pulled her groin against the thigh that he pressed firmly against her. Shepard blinked dazedly, and rocked herself against the ridged plates that covered him. Her breasts pressed against his chest, the thin film of fabric separating them. She leaned forward and kissed his jaw, trailing her tongue along the lithe mandibles before pressing against his lip plates. As his talons traced shivering lines along her thigh, she teased his mouth open, cautious against the prick of his teeth. The metallic tang of his saliva combined with her own as his tongue stroked her own.

Shepard made a whimpering sound at the brush of his knuckles against her groin and sucked his tongue into her mouth. She bit down gently and he growled low in his throat. She closed her eyes as a single digit entered her heat. She rocked against his hand.

"Garrus…" she murmured against his lips, and shifted so her lips found the soft skin of his throat. He tilted his chin and groaned as her tongue explored the rough textured skin, and found those sensitive spots she knew well. She smiled as she felt the nudge of his length against her thigh, and murmured against his neck, "Make love to me, Garrus."

But he pulled away. She glanced at him, startled, "What's wrong?" He just smiled, and using his not inconsiderable strength, rolled onto his back and tugged her up to straddle his chest. He yanked the pillow roll he normally slept on and put it under his neck so his fringe didn't crush and placing his hands upon her hips, pulled her up toward his mouth. With her thighs either side of his head, he dipped his tongue into her folds.

Shepard cried out, and arched her back. She was forced to clutch the bed head in a white knuckled grasp. Garrus' hands scraped delicately against the skin of her back, leaving the lightest of red lines on the smooth plane. His tongue thrust into her heat and he held her firm against him while he explored.

Shepard shuddered and cried out again, the distinctly strange sensation of pleasure coming from a tongue that was almost as long and thick as a man's… "Oh gods!" she shrieked as he hit a particularly sensitive spot. She jerked in his arms and he pulled out.

"Sorry, did I…" his brow plates frowned.

"Don't stop!" Shepard growled and tugged him back into place.

He made the rumbling sound of a laugh and she groaned as it vibrated through her. She ground herself against him, his tongue working it's magic. He barely managed to hold her still enough. His own erection pulsated against his lower belly, but he tamped his desire down.

He could feel her clenching around him, the sounds she was making clearly indicating she was close to release. But she reluctantly pulled herself up and off him. Garrus made a sound of surprise. She leaned down to kiss him and could taste herself on his tongue.

Shepard straddled his hips, and with her tongue toying with his own, she reached between them and notched his length against her opening. She took a single deep breath, their kiss pausing, as she concentrated on thrusting slowly down. She bit her lower lip, reddening the soft skin and her eyes closed.

"Look at me," Garrus demanded, his hand tangling in her hair, his other hand clutching at her backside.

She opened her eyes, and stared at him with eyes made dark with arousal.

"You beautiful, amazing woman," he murmured, struggling to hold himself still as she rode him slowly, the strong muscles of her thighs flexing with her every motion.

She released the breath she was holding with a gasp and paused, her hands splayed on his chest, her face flushed. Garrus lifted his legs slightly to gain purchase with his heels, and slowly thrust upwards. He watched her face grow slack with pleasure, and the hands clench at his chest. He did it again. And again. And shortly she joined him, thrust for thrust. He drove in and out of her body, and their breaths came in gasps and sobs as they tried to outrun the pounding of their hearts. Her hand slid down between them and she pressed her fingers against the tiny knot of nerve endings at the apex of her thighs.

"Oh gods," she gasped, "Oh…yes…"

He slammed harder into her and the ridged length of him thickened and darkened with his approaching crest. With a wild cry she beat him there, though with but a half dozen more thrusts, he pulled himself from her heat and spent himself upon her belly. She collapsed upon him and struggled to bring her breathing under control.

For long minutes they lay there silently, their breathing in sync, thundering hearts slowing to normal rhythms. And it was not too much longer before Garrus realised she had fallen asleep. He huffed a soft laugh and eased her weight off him. She muttered something unintelligible and tucked herself against him, her back to his chest.

He pulled up the blankets that had been tossed aside in their passion and wrapping his arms around her, drifted off himself.

* * *

Shepard started awake and struggled briefly against the weight that lay across her back and legs. It took a few moments to realise where she was and that she was not tied down. Garrus had merely thrown an arm over her in sleep, and one of his hard, heavy legs was entangled with hers.

"Vaea?" Garrus asked sleepily. She was lying on her front and struggled to turn over. He lifted off the weight of his arm, before tucking her firmly against his chest.

She pressed her hand over his heart and rested her cheek upon it. Her eyes were wide in the still-dark apartment.

"I can hear you thinking," he rumbled, "What is going on in that busy brain?"

"I was just…wishing I didn't have to leave yet," Shepard's voice was laced with regret.

"You don't," his arms tightened.

"I do," her fingertips outlined one of his silvery-grey metallic chest plates. She lapsed into silence before sighing and levering herself up and out of his bed. She tugged on her pants, and stared at him with an expression of bone deep weariness.

"Thank you," she began, "For…" and gestured a little helplessly, "..everything."

Shepard watched him climb out of bed and tug on his own pants. She slipped her tunic on and watched wordlessly as he approached. His broad palms cupped her face and he bent down and gave her a heartachingly tender kiss.

"You are welcome," came the rumbling reply.

Shepard stepped back out of his touch and turned with obvious regret toward the doorway. She paused and glanced back, watching him watch her departure with an expression of deep sadness in her eyes.

"See you soon?" her voice cracked despite herself.

Garrus just nodded, unwilling to trust his own voice to remain steady.

And she was gone.

* * *

Jack scowled at Shepard, "Are you insane?"

"Probably," Shepard rubbed her brow.

"You told him you loved him…and just…walked away?" Jack paced the floor of Shepard's cabin and threw out a heavily tattooed arm to punctuate her disapproval. A picture on the wall slid off and crashed to the floor. Jack grumbled, "Shit. Sorry."

"Don't destroy my cabin, if you please," Shepard snapped with irritation.

"Don't change the subject," Jack rounded back on her, "I thought you had your shit sorted, Shepard! You were cleared, you still have your ship, your crew and…your freedom. And you have the guy."

Shepard scrubbed her hands through the already tempestuous strands of her hair, making it stand up on end, and snapped out in frustration, "I don't know what I'm doing, Jack! I haven't a fucking clue."

"Hells, woman, who does?" Jack pointed her finger at Shepard, "Fix this. Get his turian ass on this ship."

"Just like that?"

"Just fucking like that," Jack pointed at the comm unit on the low table between them. The biotic strode toward the door.

"What do I say?" the bewildered voice came from the sitting area. Jack turned around.

"That you were a total dumbass and made a mistake?"

"Not helpful, Jack,"

Jack sighed, "He won't care what you say, Shep, just how you say it. I'm gonna go talk to Moreau. Tell him to hold off on leaving."

Shepard just rubbed her brow as Jack left. She picked up the comm and tucked it into her ear. She activated her omnitool. And hit the relevant numbers.

"Garrus?" she spoke nervously when he answered, "I changed my mind. I want you to stay."

A pause.

"Garrus?" she tapped her ear piece. He had hung up on her. She frowned and tipped her head back against her couch, and tossed the comm unit on the table. She closed her eyes and sighed. Time to make tracks then. She stood up slowly, and walked out of her cabin to the elevator.

"Uhhh, Shepard?" Nara spoke over the ship's comm, "Garrus Vakarian is requesting permission to come aboard."

A smile curved her lips and she opened eyes bright with hope. Her hand slammed the button for the bridge.

"Permission granted."


End file.
